Time Stands Still
by somethingxwicked
Summary: "You know..." Draco breathed, "It hurts like hell when you love someone who doesn't love you in return." He couldn't hold it in any longer, "But it hurts an infinite amount more when you love someone who won't allow herself to love you in return."
1. Off to a Good Start

_A/N: This story takes place after Half-Blood Prince, not including Deathly Hallows. It's a Draco/Hermione story, but there is also a lot of Ron/Hermione. Enjoy and thanks for reading!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, or the back-story, or anything. Those all belong to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers._

Chapter One

Heavy drops of rain splashed against the windows of the Great Hall. Light reflected from hovering candles on the gold dining utensils, plates, and goblets, which had yet to be touched by the food that was still waiting bellow in the kitchens. The dozen and a half first years had just been sorted by the ancient hat of Godric Gryffindor into the four Hogwarts houses and the only thing left before the feast was a start-of-term greeting.

"I hope this is short," Ron Weasley whispered in his friend's ear. "I'm starving."

"Quiet! Here she comes," snapped Hermione from across the long Gryffindor table. Harry and Ron rolled their eyes but stopped complaining all the same.

Professor McGonagall reentered the hall through the door she had left to carry the Sorting Hat away, causing the students to cease their chatting in anticipation for her speech. This would be the first time in many long years that Albus Dumbledore would not welcome the students in his usual witty fashion. Professor McGonagall stepped up to the front of the extended table of teachers however, with the same respectful power and grace that Dumbledore had displayed only a year ago.

"Welcome to another start-of-term feast!" she began, all eyes and ears paying attention, "Due to the tragic events of this past year, I have been appointed Headmistress of Hogwarts. I would like to welcome the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Brooks."

A tall man with trimmed black hair, just beginning to turn gray, stood up from the staff table. He gave a slight nod and a warm smile appeared on his aging face.

"Let's hope he's a more than decent teacher," Harry murmured, eyeing the new professor and trying to assess his abilities.

"I'm sure McGonagall wouldn't hire someone unqualified at a time like this," Hermione pointed out, "If there's one class we need, it's Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Due to the fact that I am now Headmistress," McGonagall started again, once Professor Brooks took his seat, "The position of Transfiguration teacher will be filled by Professor Tonks, who is unable to be here for the start-of-term feast."

"No surprise there," Ron said, "She'd only been marching around the Burrow, complaining about being locked inside the castle for a year instead of helping with the Order."

"They needed _someone_ to teach, and she was the only one who had given it any thought. It's not a poor idea to have another Order member here, either," Hermione logically explained.

"Lupin also probably wants to make sure she's safe and out of harm's way," said Harry, before McGonagall spoke once more.

"I would like to remind everyone of the new security measures that have been put in place," Professor McGonagall interrupted the whispers of the hall, "No student is permitted on the grounds after six o'clock and everyone must be in their common room no later than ten o'clock unless they are escorted by a professor. The forest is, as always, out of bounds. All Quidditch practices must be monitored by either Madame Hooch or another professor. Anyone caught breaking these rules will receive detention and points will be taken from his or her house. Now, let the feast begin!"

Just as it had for the past six years, piles upon piles of delicious looking foods popped out of thin air onto the golden dishes along the tables.

"Finally!" Ron and Harry rejoiced together, immediately reaching for their forks.

"Calm down! The food isn't going to run away if you don't eat it fast enough," Hermione scolded, scooping vegetables onto her plate.

"You never know… I mean, it _did_ just appear out of nowhere," Harry commented for Ron whose mouth was entirely filled.

"Disgusting," Hermione concluded. There was nothing else to do but ignore them and gaze at the stone wall in the foreground.

"Who did you say was Head Boy?" Ron asked once he had inhaled two platefuls of the feast. Hermione thought she detected a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Ernie Macmillan from Hufflepuff," Hermione said. Ron made a face. "Well, he's not as bad as someone like Zacharias Smith."

"I guess, but he's still a—" Ron cut off, staring at something to the left of Hermione's head. She turned around to see what was going on.

Looking much more gaunt and skeletal than ever before, with dark circles emanating from under his lifeless eyes, Draco Malfoy took his seat at the Slytherin table. It was very fortunate that the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables were between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or else Harry would have tried leapt from his seat to strangle him.

"Put your wand away, Harry," Ron warned. Harry had barely noticed his sudden impulse to grab his wand in the first place, but he reluctantly placed back inside his robes.

"I need to switch seats with you," he said to Hermione with a sense of urgency, "I'll end up blowing something up if I have to look at that foul git for the rest of the night. I can't believe they would let filth like him back inside these walls!"

Hermione agreed and walked to the other side, seating herself next to Ron, who was glaring maliciously at Draco and across from Harry who was trying hard to behave himself.

"What was McGonagall thinking?" Harry put his head in his hands in a very frustrated manner.

"The only people that know he was involved in bringing the Death Eaters into Hogwarts are those in the Order. No one else suspects him of anything," Hermione pointed out.

"McGonagall's in the Order! She should have more sense not to let a 17-year-old Death Eater, the reason for Dumbledore's death, back into this school. That would be like letting Snape teach here again," Harry rebutted in outrage.

"We'll just have to pay more attention to him this year. We can make sure there are no more secret trips to the Room of Requirement with Crabbe and Goyle under the Polyjuice Potion," Ron suggested, glancing at Hermione for her thoughts on his determination.

She nodded to show her support then added, "The teachers will be keeping a closer eye on him, too. There's nothing to worry about."

"I guess, but I still don't think this is a good idea." Harry put the subject to rest, though, jumping back to talk of Quidditch, the feast, and all the work they were going to get the next day.

Hermione, however, was busy watching Draco from across the Great Hall. Something seemed a bit wrong about him— well, _more_ wrong than usual. He was sitting at the end of the table, far from Crabbe and Goyle, the food piled on his plate remaining completely untouched. His cold eyes lay fixed on nothing but the empty air in front of him. He appeared almost lonely. Hermione couldn't bring herself to feel sorry for him, though. Draco Malfoy didn't deserve an ounce of sympathy for all the trouble he had caused.

The meal continued and Hermione was drawn from her studies of the blonde Slytherin into Harry and Ron's conversation on the N.E.W.T. exams at the end of the school year.

"I've already started studying," Hermione said matter-of-factly.

"Figures…" Harry rolled his eyes, "I'll start with a month left, or if the professors start assigning essays on things that I don't remember, I guess I'll have to start then."

"That sounds about right for me too," Ron agreed, picking at the dessert that had just replaced the main course on the table. It was almost time to report to the common rooms and get a decent night's sleep before classes started again.

Quite abruptly, Hermione saw Draco rise from his seat. He shoved his uneaten food carelessly away and stalked out of the Great Hall, as if it were unbearable to remain there for any longer.

"I wonder where he thinks he's going to go," Ron said, shaking his head in disgust, "He doesn't know the password for the Slytherin common room yet."

"He can't go far. The feast is almost over and if he's not found in his common room by the end of the night, professors will be looking in all of the right places for him," Hermione said, with perfect timing. McGonagall had just risen from her seat once more to send the students off to bed.

Filling her role as Head Girl, Hermione began ushering the Gryffindors out of the hall. There was chaos as everyone tried to exit at the same moment, four different houses all trying to listen to Prefects or Heads shouting directions.

"Gryffindor first years! Follow me up the stairs!" Hermione yelled, standing on her toes. She looked around for Ron or Harry to help her but they had gone ahead once they received the password. She sighed in frustration and continued to herd the Gryffindors on her own.

"Granger," a chillingly familiar voice spoke from what sounded like inches from Hermione's ear. She hesitated before facing Draco who indeed was less than a foot behind her. She shot him the worst look she could come up with.

"What?"

"You're Head Girl. What's the Slytherin password?" It was more of a demand than a request.

"That doesn't give me the right to know every password. Go ask a Slytherin," Hermione spoke quickly, trying to end the conversation. She analyzed his face properly, now that they were so close. His gray eyes were darker, nearly black, and his skin looked tight around his bones as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. It was a frightening image.

"I don't… I don't want to talk to any of them." He looked around uncomfortably.

"So, instead, you're talking to me?" Hermione was confused now, but still making her way slowly to the Gryffindor common room.

"Yeah, that was a bad choice. You're just as useless as everybody else in this damn hell hole!" Draco snarled but kept his voice low so only the people next to him could hear. He gave Hermione one final loathing look, which she gratiously returned, and pushed his way through the crowd toward the dungeons.

Finally, Hermione pulled all of the Gryffindors out of the mob and in minutes, they were climbing through the portrait hole. She pointed out the girls' and boys' dormitories and quickly many of the new students shuffled off to bed. The excitement had drained all of them of their energy and even a bunch of the older student had gone, as well.

"Are you two going to sleep, now?" Hermione asked, approaching Harry and Ron who had left their usual chairs by the fire.

"Yeah, Quidditch tryouts start tomorrow and I know I'm going to be dead if I don't get enough sleep." Harry shuddered at the thought of all the stress it would surely cause.

"Do you even have _time_ for Quidditch this year with the final Horcruxes you need to find and the N.E.W.T. exams?" Hermione argued, trying to think logically.

"We found more than half of them during the summer, and with the help of the Order, it won't be long before they're all destroyed," Harry reminded her. They had informed the Order of Dumbledore's remaining task and through research, they had uncovered the objects known to be Horcruxes. The only ones left to find now, were the ones that Dumbledore had been unsure of.

"I guess you're right. We have help," Hermione admitted, "Goodnight, then."

She thought she saw Harry nudge Ron, but it could have been her imagination. Harry walked up the spiral staircase to the boy's dormitory leaving Ron behind.

"So… Uhh how were the first years on their way up here?" Ron started, making small talk. He was fidgeting with the hem of his robes and he wouldn't meet Hermione's eyes.

"Not bad, once we separated from the other houses. Malfoy wasn't up to anything, by the way. He stopped me in the hallway," Hermione added as if it were no big deal.

"Can I ask you something?" Ron said in an awkward voice before she could tell him any more.

"No, it wasn't like that at all. It was more like he commanded me to give him the Slytherin password. I told him I didn't have it, which was the truth," Hermione blabbered on, completely misunderstanding Ron. She thought he was imitating Draco with whatever voice he had just used.

"Hermione, I need to ask you something," he restated with more confidence this time.

"Oh, sorry! I thought you—Yes, you can ask." She felt her face grown red for not understanding properly.

Ron looked around the room, taking a deep slow breath. Hermione turned and looked around as well, wondering what was going on. They were the only two left in the common room. Had Ron planned this?

"I wanted to know if you err… wanted to go out with me," he said, his hands shaking at his sides and his knees about to give out.

"As in boyfriend and girlfriend?" Hermione stammered and felt her stomach flipping as if she were about to lose everything she had eaten in the past few hours. What a sight that would be.

"If you don't want to, I would understand." Ron looked slightly disappointed. "I was a real prat towards you last year with Lavender and all, but I thought you felt the same way as I did at the end of the year. And then, at the Burrow this summer, I would have asked you, but I could never get you alone. It's real tricky in a house full of nosy siblings." He managed to laugh with all of the tension.

"You've waited all summer to ask me?" Hermione didn't know what to say.

"Yes, and you don't have to say yes, but, it would make me really, _really_ happy if you _did_ say yes," Ron sputtered quickly, trying not to sound funny yet failing miserably.

"Then, yes," Hermione agreed, grinning widely. This wasn't at all how she expected the year to start.

"Good," Ron said, relieved, "It's getting late, though, so I'll see you in the morning?"

"Goodnight," Hermione said, feeling slightly anticlimactic as she turned to leave.

Before she could walk away, though, Ron grabbed her hand and spun her around, his lips crashing into hers without hesitation. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was enough to leave Hermione stunned as they pulled away, smiling innocently at each other.

"Goodnight," Ron breathed and they reluctantly set off for their dormitories, anticipating the pleasant dreams that awaited them.


	2. Unwanted Agreement

Chapter Two

Classes started the following morning with Transfiguration first on the list. Hermione was excited to see Ron waiting for her in the common room after Harry had already gone down to eat.

"Thank you for waiting." Hermione was aware that her voice sounded awfully high and giddy for the early hours of the morning.

"I would wait all day for you." It sounded extremely cheesy, but Ron knew that.

He hesitantly reached for Hermione's hand and held it gently in his while they meandered down the shifting staircases. He stole a glance at her whenever he thought she wasn't looking but Hermione noticed anyway. A normal person would have found it creepy but she thought it was sweet. She had been waiting for Ron to act like this, ever since she began to feel more than friendly feelings toward him in the fourth year.

They joined Harry at the long Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. He was sitting alone, reading the Daily Prophet.

"It's about time you two showed up!" He eyed them skeptically, unwillingly imagining them having a snog-fest in the empty common room.

"We weren't doing anything like _that_, Harry," Hermione informed him, grabbing some toast.

"Yeah, nothing like... this." Ron placed his hand softly on Hermione's cheek so that he could turn her head to face him. He then rested his lips on hers, lingering there just long enough to make Harry uncomfortable. Hermione dropped the toast in surprise as her cheeks turned bright red with embarrassment.

"Ron!" she exclaimed as she pushed him back, flustered.

"Yeah, Ron," Harry rolled his emerald eyes, "Go find a room." Ron ignored him and tried kissing Hermione again.

"Ron, stop." Hermione held up a hand to his face, "Harry's right."

"You— You want to find an empty classroom?" His eyes lit up at the thought.

"No, what I meant was we shouldn't make a show in front of everyone." Hermione frowned at Ron's little idea.

"No one wants to see you sucking on people's faces, Ron, even if it is Hermione." Harry shook his head, trying to knock the thoughts from it.

Ron shrugged. He had no option but to obey Hermione. If she didn't want to kiss him in public, then they would just have to make up for it when they were alone. That didn't sound so bad, after all.

Soon, it was time to head to the first class of the new school year. Tonks would be an interesting teacher, quite a change from McGonagall. Hermione gathered her belongings in one hand and took Ron's hand with her other.

The class drifted by like any other class. Tonks gave the anticipated N.E.W.T. speech about how much work they would need to do and when to start studying. She unfortunately showed no favoritism to Harry, Ron, or Hermione but they did get a second to speak with her when the class had ended.

"How was I for my first day?" she asked nervously, hoping to receive some good feedback.

"You were fine, Tonks, don't worry about it," Harry reassured her.

Tonks looked pleased and gave a somewhat exhausted sigh of relief, "Thanks, my next class is starting in ten minutes so I have to prepare for it."

They said their farewells and began heading to Charms, ready to face more boredom and homework assignments. Ron and Hermione lingered a few steps behind Harry, trying to get used to the whole relationship thing.

"Did you post the information on Quidditch tryouts in the common room?" Ron asked suddenly, catching up to Harry who turned around, confused as to where his friends had gone.

"I told everyone last night when they were, do you think they'll forget?" Harry really didn't feel like running to the Gryffindor tower in between classes, but if it was for Quidditch, he would do it anyway.

"I don't know. You should put one up anyway, though," Ron insisted. Harry nodded in agreement and dashed off to the nearest staircase, hoping to make it to class in time.

Ron turned to Hermione, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. He took her books and placed them on the floor with his own, then faced her, only several inches apart.

"Is this private enough for you?" he said quietly, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"For?" Hermione asked, faking an innocent look but failing to suppress a grin.

Ron closed the space between their lips in a quick movement. This was the kiss both of them had been waiting for, nothing like the quick peck on Hermione's lips the previous night. Ron brought his hand to Hermione's chin, lifting her head ever so slightly so that she could reach him better. Hermione's heart was beating furiously in her chest. She reluctantly broke away to regain her used supply of air.

"For that," Ron kept his eyes locked on Hermione's.

"That was private enough, yes." Hermione's voice was higher than usual, probably caused by her lack of oxygen.

Life continued like this for the first few weeks of class. Hermione and Ron would make up excuses to be alone with each other so that they could have a good quick snog without bothering anyone. Harry caught on quickly and knew not to follow them all over the castle. This gave him more time to spend in the library so that he could think of possible Horcrux locations.

The best part of all of this was that Draco Malfoy wasn't in any classes with them. They barely saw him, which meant that Ron barely had to restrain Harry. He still looked as pale and sickly has he had the first night of school, though, and he made his way around the castle without his sidekicks, Crabbe and Goyle. No one was worried about him being up to no good, however. According to the Marauder's Map, Draco rarely left the Slytherin Common Room.

Ron sat in one of the large, squashy chairs by the Gryffindor fire one evening, Hermione across his lap, her legs draped over the armrest. She had a huge book in her hands for some leisurely reading. Harry was in the adjacent chair, discussing the recent Quidditch tryouts with Ron.

"So, it's pretty much the same team as last year after the incident with Katie Bell. Everyone played as well as they normally do and no one new really stood out," Ron concluded, tracing circular patterns on Hermione's exposed wrists.

It was nice spending time with Ron when it didn't involve snogging. Sometimes she felt he was only interested in snogging her.

"Hermione?" a voice called, pulling Hermione's attention from her book and Harry's from his and Ron's conversation. Ginny was standing there. "McGonagall wants to speak with you in her office."

"Now? Why?" She tried to think of what she had done wrong or what would be the reason behind this.

"How would I know?" Ginny asked, shrugging her shoulders before walking to the girls' dormitories.

Ron helped Hermione off his lap and onto her feet. "Don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing. You're a perfect student," he murmured reassuringly into her ear, placing a quick kiss on her cheek.

"You can wait here for me. I probably won't be long and the hallways aren't dark yet," Hermione said when Ron tried to follow her. She started for the Head Mistress' office, having not been inside it since it belonged to Dumbledore.

When she got to the stone gargoyle, Hermione said the password given to her at the start of the year for emergencies, and ascended the spiraling staircase leading to the door. She could hear voices coming from within and pulled her hand back before she could knock on the door. She wasn't one to eavesdrop, but the occupants of the office were speaking in raised voices and she was curious to find out what was going on.

"We didn't let you back at Hogwarts just so you could lay around in the common room all day!" It sounded like Tonks. Hermione had never heard her this serious before, even in the Order.

"You all made it seem like I was only here because I would be dead if I were outside of the castle's protection," a male voice retorted harshly. "Well, I'm still alive, so why do I need to go to classes?"

"This is a _school_, meaning you cannot continue to skip all of your lessons," McGonagall reminded him. Hermione was concentrating on the unknown voice, waiting for him to speak again.

"Part of the agreement was-"

"What agreement?" the male cut Tonks off rudely, "I didn't agree to anything. You just sent someone out for me after last year and practically forced me to come back to this place. I was doing fine on my own."

Hermione was sure that it was Draco in there, arguing with McGonagall and Tonks. She decided to keep listening, not wanting to interrupt the discussion.

"You didn't see yourself when Remus found you," Tonks explained. Hermione was confused, the Order never mentioned how they were the ones that had found him. "We're doing this for your own protection. If you want to die, go ahead. Leave."

"This is ridiculous," Draco protested, but Hermione could tell he had given up arguing.

She raised her hand to knock, still wondering why she had been summoned. She had nothing to do with Draco Malfoy not going to classes. Maybe the reason didn't relate to Draco; he was just there before her. Surely they weren't expecting her to convince him to go to class. Perhaps this was about that homework assignment she had submitted for Transfiguration that had been a roll of parchment too long. Realizing she would find out in mere seconds, she sighed and knocked gently on the hard wooden door.

"Come in," Headmistress McGonagall's voice sounded from beyond the door. Hermione pushed it open and stepped inside the large office to see the faces of the three people she already knew were in there.

"Good evening, Miss Granger," McGonagall greeted her kindly but a stern look still remained etched in her features from the talk with Draco.

"You wanted to see me?" Hermione asked, trying not to reveal that she had been listening. Draco made to leave. His meeting was over and he really didn't feel like staying.

"This concerns you, as well," Tonks called Draco back, Hermione felt her heart begin to beat more rapidly in her chest. What did she have to do with that grimy Slytherin?

Draco forced himself to return, wearing the same revolted and confused look as Hermione.

"I-I don't understand," Hermione stuttered, angrily.

"Draco has been refusing to go to classes and has missed everything taught in the past weeks. The professors are all willing to teach him what he missed, but Professor Tonks is unable to stay after classes to tutor him," McGonagall explained. Hermione's frantic heart dropped to her stomach. This wasn't happening.

"And you-you want _me_ to help him?"

"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, following dinner at seven o'clock. You are to meet in the Transfiguration classroom. Tonks will leave everything you need unlocked and each lesson should be around an hour."

"You have _got_ to be joking," Draco groaned, hoping desperately that this was his imagination.

"Maybe if you went to class, this wouldn't be the situation," said Tonks, throwing Hermione an apologetic glance.

Hermione found her voice again, "Why me? Why not Ernie Macmillan? He's Head Boy."

"I'm sure you already know that you're a superior witch to him. He's intelligent but not at all like you," McGonagall complimented Hermione. "You two can go, now. Your first session is tomorrow night. If you don't show up, Draco, we will have no choice but to expel you."

Hermione reached for the doorknob but before she could take a step, Draco had rushed ahead of her, nearly knocking her out of the way. He thrust open the door, not bothering to hold it for Hermione, and fled down the stone staircase. He was out of sight in seconds.

Grabbing the door before it closed, Hermione followed Draco but with a less dramatic exit. Once she was far enough away from the office, Hermione felt hot angry tears start to flow freely down her cheeks.


	3. Teaching Draco

Chapter Three

"If he tries to do anything or if he upsets you in any way, go talk to McGonagall. I'm sure she'll understand," Ron reassured Hermione, after walking her to the empty Transfiguration classroom. "Do you want me to be here at eight o'clock?"

"I'll be alright walking back alone. Just wait for me in the common room," Hermione instructed.

It was almost time for her first lesson with Draco. She had explained the situation to Ron and Harry last night and both were just as outraged as she was. Ron even offered to have a talk with McGonagall about making Ernie Macmillan do it.

Draco had appeared in Transfiguration that morning and it turned out he was in several of the trio's classes. So much for a better year, Hermione thought.

"I'll see you in an hour." Ron planted a hard kiss on her lips.

Hermione reluctantly watched him leave and entered the room that she was already beginning to hate. For the first session, she planned on reviewing spells from the past couple of years. That would be simple enough and would require little explaining.

She went to the shelves in the room by Tonks' desk and collected a few objects that Draco could practice transforming. Hermione carried them to a desk visible through the little pane of glass in the door. It was a silly move but she wanted to make sure that someone would be able to see her lying stunned or dead on the table if Draco got a little carried away.

Surprisingly, he arrived on time, barely looking at his new tutor. The temperature of the room seemed to drop instantly and Hermione felt her muscles tense. He approached the desk that Hermione had prepared and sat sulkily in one of the old, creaky, wooden chairs.

"Hi," Hermione forced herself to say. Draco's empty eyes shot up from the miscellaneous objects on the table to meet Hermione's.

"I'm not here to make small talk, Granger," he spoke harshly as if it actually pained him to talk to her. "Teach me what I missed so we can both get out of here."

Hermione pulled her wand out of her pocket, pointing it at a candlestick on the table. "We can review spells first. That's what we did on the first day of class, anyway."

Draco took his wand out of his robes, as well. "Which spells?"

"Color changing, shape-altering, and transfiguring into similar objects."

He immediately turned the candlestick from gold to silver, made it taller, and finished by transforming it into a silver drinking goblet. He did it all with simple flicks of his wand while murmuring the proper spells.

"Alright," Hermione started, staring in slight amazement. Maybe he wasn't an idiot after all. "We can move on to self transfiguration. Same type of spells, just on yourself."

Without hesitation, Draco turned his wand to himself. He whispered the spells under his breath, turning his eyes a dark blue, making his white-blonde hair shrink back into his skull, and finally transfiguring his non-wand hand into a lion's claw.

Hermione would have laughed at the sight, had she not been afraid that Draco would take a swipe at her with his deadly claw, so instead, she nodded slightly in approval before he returned to his normal skeletal and sickly figure.

"What are you making that face for?" Draco demanded, glancing swiftly at Hermione. He looked much less violent when he had the navy colored eyes.

"What face?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, trying to remember her last reaction.

"I don't know, you seemed surprised, as if you didn't think I was capable of successfully doing magic," Draco grumbled. He put his wand down and waited for Hermione to explain.

"Well, I just expected to be reviewing spells for the first few lessons. I didn't think you would remember them so easily," she admitted. A bit of hope grew inside of her. Maybe this meant less sessions if he paid attention.

"In other words, I'm not as stupid as you imagined I was." He threw Hermione an angered look.

She figured it was best to not respond and chose a dozen more spells for him to practice. He did them all perfectly without thinking.

"If you're good at transfiguration, why don't you seem to care during class?" Hermione finally asked, once they had run out of spells. There was still half an hour before the end.

"That's none of your business," Draco spat. Obviously Hermione had managed to hit a nerve.

The lesson had gone well up until this point; there was no excessive amount of rudeness, but now Draco's voice was as cold and hard as ice. Hermione didn't think her question was too personal.

"Sorry, I was just curious. I _am_ trying to help you here, you know," Hermione pointed out. She wasn't sure why she apologized, she hadn't done anything wrong.

"No, you're not! You were forced into this just like I was. Don't make it seem like you're being such a saint here. You're not as perfect as you think you are, Granger." His eyes were dark as ever now. Hermione shuddered at the intensity of his glare.

"I just thought that if we're going to work together for a few hours a week, it would be easier if we got along. I was simply asking a question, hoping with some conversation, I wouldn't loathe you so much," she said, placing emphasis on the fact that she really did loathe him.

"There is _nothing_ you need to know about me." Draco pushed his chair away from the desk, standing abruptly. He nearly tipped the desk over in his outburst but Hermione made sure nothing fell off of it. "It would be _easier_ if you just taught me Transfiguration and then left me alone," he growled, shoving the door open and hurrying out.

Hermione found Ron and Harry playing chess in the common room. "That disgusting git!" Hermione exclaimed, frustrated. "He does the spells flawlessly, I try to find out why he doesn't put the same effort in during class, and he completely rips my head off."

"What are you going to do?" Ron asked, taking one of Harry's chess pieces.

"There's nothing I _can_ do. It's just who he is. I'll have to keep my mouth shut next time and only open it when he wants to know what spells he missed while he was ditching class!" Hermione decided. She couldn't stand any part of the Slytherin. Even when she tried to understand his thought process and the reason behind his actions, she only received a rotten load of insults. She sat down by the fire and pulled out a book to take her mind off of things.

"Hermione, we should sleep," Ron suggested, watching Harry disappear up the boy's staircase to the dormitories a few hours later. The common room was now empty apart from the two of them, curled up on the couch.

"I won't be able to sleep. I'm thinking too much of having to teach that horrible Slytherin over and over again," Hermione cringed, burying her head in Ron's chest.

He twirled his fingers through her hair with one hand and lifted her chin with the other so that he could see her eyes.

"Don't think about it. He's not going to hex you or anything while in this school. I swear I would kill him if he tried," Ron promised, "Just don't ask him about his life and he'll leave you alone." Hermione looked pleased and thanked Ron by closing her eyes and leaning her face in to rest her lips against his.

Their lips moved together in harmony before Ron gently parted Hermione's open with his own. Their tongues danced rhythmically, causing Hermione's heart to flutter. Her mind went blank, focusing only on the pleasure of kissing Ron. He moved his hands frantically to her hips, brushing the sides of her body as he did so, then proceeded to shift her body so that she was lying under him, her back to the couch cushions. Hermione tried to deepen the kiss but Ron cut her off in an attempt to regain his breath.

He slowly moved his lips to her neck, never lifting them from her heated skin as Hermione's chest rose and fell, steadily returning her heart beat to normal. Withdrawing his mouth from her collar bone, Ron started to kiss her again. She placed her hands on Ron's chest and lightly pushed.

"Mmm- stop, Ron," she murmured against his hungry lips. He opened his eyes, a troubled look now on his face as he lifted his head.

"You have no idea how badly I want you right now," he whispered in his deep voice, struggling to focus on what she wanted.

"We need to go to sleep," Hermione reminded him. If she wasn't so tired suddenly or so afraid of someone walking in on them, she would have snogged Ron until the sun rose. However, that was something that could get her Head Girl privilege taken away. How very frustrating it was to have to be responsible sometimes.

Ron rolled off from on top of her and stood at the edge of the couch. He took Hermione's soft hand and helped her stand, pulling her close so that all the space between their bodies disappeared. His long arms wrapped securely around her waist and bent his head down so their foreheads were touching.

"I love you," he stated, staring down at her beaming face.

Hermione reached up to peck at his lips. "And I love you."


	4. Bottled Emotions

Chapter Four

Hermione successfully made it to the next lesson without losing her mind worrying about it.

"I'll see you in the common room after Quidditch," Ron reminded Hermione, and just as he had two nights ago, he kissed her nervous lips.

A strangled choking noise broke the moment. Ron had paused for a little too long before pulling away, long enough for Draco to round the corner of the corridor.

"Grow up, Malfoy." Ron threw him a harsh look of disapproval, keeping his arms around Hermione.

"Why don't you grow up and have a _real_ relationship for once. There's more to love than snogging." Draco rolled his eyes, opening the Transfiguration room's door.

"Like you know what love is," Ron retorted as Hermione tried to get him to leave. She didn't want a fight to break out. "You get a girl to fall for you and the next second her clothes are lying on the floor."

"I wish it were that easy," Draco smirked. Hermione hadn't seen him so lively in almost a year. His confidence clearly grew from making people feel awful about themselves and poor Ron was tonight's victim.

"Just go Ron, before this gets worse," Hermione said, giving him a push down the corridor. He gave a small wave goodbye and followed her orders.

She and Draco set themselves up at the same desk and Hermione retrieved some new, larger objects to practice on.

"So... you and Weasley?"

"That's none of your business," Hermione stole Draco's line from the other night. He would only continue picking Ron's dignity to pieces if she elaborated on the subject.

He didn't respond but pulled out his wand, ready to start. Hermione had him try the same spells as last session but on the larger more complex items. His transfigurations were to be more intricate and drastic.

"Is this tea kettle _nice_ enough for you, Granger?" Draco asked after he had completely altered the lavender stripe pattern on the side to a darker display of maroon roses. He held the kettle up for her to see. "Does this look more intri-"

A violent crash rang throughout the empty classroom as Draco let the kettle slip from his fingers. He inhaled sharply, cringing in pain as Hermione nearly flew out of her chair in surprise.

"Are- Are you alright?" she asked cautiously. Draco's breathing had suddenly increased and he was struggling to regain his composure.

"Yeah, I... don't know what happened. I wasn't holding the handle enough, apparently," he said though he sounded as if he didn't believe what he was telling her. Hermione barely believed his story either, but she knew if she persisted, he would only snap at her. "Why do you care anyway?"

"It's human nature to care. _Reparo_," Hermione restored the kettle's broken shards and placed it gently on the table, away from Draco. She noticed him play with the sleeve of his left arm, wrapping his long pale fingers around his wrist.

"It was that foul thing on your arm, wasn't it?" She put his action into a logical answer, staring, horror-struck at the young Death Eater in front of her. "It started burning, the dark mark."

"Burning?" Draco yanked his sleeve up around his elbow, allowing Hermione to see the gruesome outline of a skull, a snake protruding from its mouth. "This thing doesn't just burn. It feels like my entire arm's been cut off and thrown into the fires of Hell." Hermione could see the agony reflecting in his tortured eyes.

She averted her gaze from the black tattoo, not knowing what to say.

"Can we get back to Transfiguration?" he asked, putting the subject to rest. He covered the mark on his forearm and started casting spells on the other objects.

Hermione stayed silent, making sure he was doing things correctly, all the while thinking about what had just happened.

"Want to know what your problem is?" she finally said, coming to a conclusion.

"I don't recall asking for a diagnosis." He was annoyed.

"You keep all of your emotions to yourself, never letting anyone know how you feel, what's going on inside your head," Hermione began. Draco opened his mouth to contradict her but she kept going. "Telling someone that you hate them doesn't count. I meant that you don't say when you're upset or worried or even happy, although I can't say you've ever been truly happy."

"You learn to control your emotions when the Dark Lord is constantly trying to read your mind. Any thought of doubt or discontent with his plans could have you destroyed." He spoke as if he half expected Voldemort to burst through the door and take his life.

"I wouldn't know how that feels. I'm not the Death Eater, here," Hermione shrugged, trying to imagine the paranoia.

"You make it seem like I wanted this!" Draco's voice rose. "I didn't chose this life for myself! Let's see you try to say 'no' to the Dark Lord. I'm sure he'd be thrilled."

"I'd rather die than become one of his servants," Hermione spoke bravely, displaying the true Gryffindor she was.

"I felt like I _did_ die when this happened. You have no idea how it feels- what it's like having your every move watched. One mistake and he'll stop your heart in a fraction of a second." Draco grew tense.

"You didn't kill Dumbledore. Snape did. Isn't that a mistake? And you're still alive," Hermione stated matter-of-factly. This was the longest conversation she had held with Draco without him making a joke about her. The subject had nothing to do with Transfiguration, but she was getting to know how his mind worked, which is what she had tried to do two nights ago.

"When Snape and I apparated after Potter followed us, he went to the Dark Lord. I didn't follow him. I apparated to a forest, found a small cave, and hid there until your werewolf friend stumbled upon me. That's how I ended up here, safe and and alive." His eyes pierced Hermione's, wondering what she was thinking. "I'll let you know what's happening inside my head. I'll show you the emotions that I've been locking away. Do you want to hear the answer to your question?"

"Which question?" Hermione blinked in confusion.

"Why do I not try in class or why did I skip classes entirely?" Draco restated the question from their first lesson, the one he had refused to respond to. Hermione easily remembered her words and nodded for him to continue. "I see no point in trying. I work hard, I take the N.E.W.T. exams and then what? The moment I leave this school, I'll be hunted down and killed. If the other Death Eaters don't find me, I have nowhere to go. I'll die with or without their help. Staying here is only prolonging my life by a year. After that, I'm gone."

"If you're so sure that you're going to die, what's your reason for staying here?" Hermione argued, finding his thought process flawed.

Draco looked as if he were in agony, his voice starting to strain. "Do you think I _want_ to die? I'd do anything to have a normal, long-lasting life! But I can't! I was born to uphold my father's place as one of the Dark Lord's most trusted Death Eaters. When your life is on the line, you either beg for forgiveness and suck up to the darkest wizard of all time or you run. I'm not going to beg to live when being a Death Eater is barely living at all. I don't want anything to do with that."

"Is this why you don't talk to Crabbe and Goyle anymore? Because they're on the wrong side?" Hermione noticed how miserable he appeared.

"There is no wrong or right side for me. I'm too corrupted to turn around but I won't go back to being a Death Eater." He paused to accept this idea. It had only just occurred to him how true it was. Neither side in the war would take him back after what he had failed to do last June and the thought haunted him. "You have no idea what a horrible position I'm in right now. I stay awake night after night staring into the dark, trying to figure out what to do. Have you noticed my appearance? I haven't slept properly in months. I feel sick all the time. I can barely eat. There's nothing that can help me." He bent over, placing his head in his hands, trying to relax.

He had convinced himself that all hope in the world for himself was lost. Hermione knew from the pained expression on his worn out face that he had finally admitted defeat. Draco Malfoy had given up.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered, causing him to lift his head slightly.

"Are you? Or is it just 'human nature' to say that?" He grumbled, analyzing her response.

"No, I really am sorry. I never knew you could be like this. I always thought you simply wanted to be wretched and there was no reason behind it," Hermione admitted.

The corners of Draco's mouth lifted into the faintest of smiles. He didn't appear as skeletal and unhealthy. In fact, Hermione thought he actually looked like a decent person for once. "Was that open enough for you?" he asked stubbornly.

"Yes, it was." Hermione smiled this time. "Do you feel any better, now?"

"Slightly. It was nice to be able to tell someone all of that. I feel like I've been holding it in forever," Draco told her and then realized whom he was talking to. "Could you... I'd prefer you didn't tell Potter or Weasley any of this."

"I won't. You can trust me," Hermione said, not sure what had caused this sudden change between them. She checked the time after losing track of it. "It's after eight. We should leave."

"Let's actually do some magic next class." Draco helped Hermione clean up the classroom. She nodded in agreement.

"I'll see you Monday night," Hermione politely said goodbye as they exited together.

"'Bye." He started in the opposite direction, "Oh, and Granger?" He stopped to face her.

"Yes?" Hermione turned.

"This doesn't change the fact that I strongly dislike you," Draco smirked.

"Good, because I still think you're a disgusting Slytherin. You're just not as careless as I thought." And Hermione returned the smug look on Draco's face with her own.


	5. Love and Hate

Chapter Five

"Congratulations," Hermione said dully with a bit of sarcasm edging into her tone.

"For...?" Draco Malfoy asked, putting his wand back in his robes after his latest lesson.

"You've caught up to the class. We can tell Tonks tomorrow and then no more tutoring sessions," Hermione explained. Three long weeks had gone by and without any further Dark Mark interruptions or psychoanalytic moments, Hermione had taught Draco everything that he had missed while he skipped out of class.

"What a relief... Now, I have more free time to just sit alone and think about how awful my life is," he rolled his eyes, exiting the class room.

Hermione followed, closing the door gently behind them. "Or you can find something useful to do. How does homework sound?"

"That wasn't part of McGonagall's plan. All she wanted was for me to attend class and have you help me," Draco smirked, seeing the loophole in the Headmistress' words, "I go to class. You helped me. What else is there?"

"If you tried and did your work, it would take your mind off of things you don't want to think about," Hermione simply stated.

Things had changed between them, not a lot, but they did change. Hermione was no longer worried about being alone with the ex-Death Eater and Draco was no longer insulting Hermione with every chance he had. They were generally civilized toward each other with a rare snap of patience when one of them was on edge. Occasionally, Draco would complain in frustration about his life and Hermione would try to distract him from his grief by teaching him a new bit of Transfiguration.

"Whatever you say, Granger," Draco agreed, only to get her off his case. "I'll wait for you after class on Monday to talk to Tonks."

Hermione gave a quick nod and headed in the opposite direction feeling both relieved and empty now that the lessons with Draco were complete.

The common room was busy, as it usually was on Friday nights, but tonight there were red and gold decorations hanging from the walls. Tomorrow would be the first Quidditch match of the season: Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff.

"Are you ready for the big game?" Hermione asked Ron who was seated with the other members of his team.

"I'm a little nervous but I'll be fine," he admitted, pulling Hermione to his side.

"I'm sure you'll be," Hermione reassured him and sat down. He was talking strategy with Harry, Ginny, and the other Gryffindors on the team- something that Hermione had little interest in.

She allowed her mind to wander, thinking about more important matters like the war and all of her N.E.W.T. level classes and how she had more time to study now that the situation with Draco was over. She was startled when a hand reached out to gently brush her cheek.

"Are you alright? You seem distant. Is something wrong?" Ron was genuinely worried about her well-being. Hermione wondered what her facial expression looked like to cause Ron's reaction.

"Nothing's wrong. Why?" she asked, curiously.

"I don't know... You just look a little sad," Ron shrugged and kissed her forehead.

"I'm just tired. Maybe, I'll go to bed early." Hermione rose from the spot. "If I don't see you in the morning, good luck at the match!" Ron supplied a goodnight hug before Hermione went to sleep.

She awoke the following morning, and just as she had suspected, she had missed saying goodbye to Ron. Most of the school was either having breakfast or getting early seats for the Quidditch match. She rushed to the Great Hall, practically inhaled her eggs, and was up in the stands at the pitch, perfectly on-time for the start of the game.

Luckily, it went by extremely fast. Every time the quaffle headed toward Ron, Hermione tensed, hoping he'd stop it, and he mostly did. The match was clean with no one getting too rough, as they often did when going against Slytherin. When Harry finally caught the snitch, the score was 220 to Hufflepuff's measly 30. Hermione wouldn't have to console Ron the whole night, that was for sure.

She marched back to the common room with the rest of the Gryffindors who would wait to celebrate with the winning team. They arrived shortly after and Ron instantly found Hermione.

"You were great!" she complimented him with a huge grin.

Ron beamed, taking hold of Hermione's hands in order to place them around his neck. He pressed his lips hard against hers and moved his body closer. Before Hermione could stop him, Ron stopped himself.

"Not here?" he asked, knowing what she was going to say. He pulled her out of the wild common room party, thanking anyone who congratulated him, and entered the corridor.

They found an unlocked and unused classroom nearby where they could get back to business. Hermione wrapped her arms securely around Ron's neck as he increased the passion in his kiss, slowly guiding her so that her back was against the hard wall. His hand left her bushy brown hair, traveling down her side to hook her leg up around his waist. Ron gently lifted her into his arms and placed her on top of a desk, all with their mouths pressed securely together.

While their tongues danced fiercely and their breathing became heavier, Ron brought his hands to the top of Hermione's shirt. He had successfully released the uppermost buttons before Hermione's hands grabbed his. Her eyes opened in panic and she broke away from his lips.

"What are you doing?" Hermione breathed, sounding frightened. She tried buttoning her blouse back up but Ron grabbed her hands.

"Come on, Hermione," he groaned, pleading with his eyes.

"We've only been dating for a month!" Hermione insisted, getting upset.

"But we've known each other for years!" Ron argued, not letting her hands go.

"Ron, I'm not doing anything with you tonight, _especially_ not now, on a desk, in an old dusty classroom, and against my will!" Hermione pulled her hands from his grip, closed her shirt, and stormed back to the common room, leaving Ron alone and aggravated.

"Have fun?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow as Hermione went by.

"If you had any part in convincing Ron it would be okay to do that, then don't talk to me," Hermione growled through clenched teeth.

"Do what?" Harry was confused. He obviously had no idea.

"Never mind. I'm getting my books and heading to the library," Hermione said stubbornly. A look of comprehension dawned on Harry's face.

"He didn't-?" He looked disgusted.

"He tried to."

"Do you want me to talk to him? Knock some sense in him? Give him a few good hits?" Harry offered, sincerely. Hermione looked up to see Ron reenter the common room.

"Sure, do whatever you want. I don't want to talk to him," she said, not caring to stick around and listen to Ron's apology or childish complaints at the moment.

Hermione pulled her favorite book from her trunk and left to sit alone in the library. It would take her mind off of Ron and his immature actions. She wasn't sure if Harry would tell Ron where she had gone, so instead of reading at one of the small tables, she took a seat on the stone floor between the last rows of books and started her book from where she had left off.

"Too good for chairs, Granger?" a voice broke the silence some time later. Hermione darted her eyes up from her book and then continued reading.

"I'm trying to avoid people," Hermione muttered darkly, frowning at the interruption.

"Care to elaborate?" Draco asked.

"No," Hermione simply stated. She didn't need Draco Malfoy knowing every detail of her relationship with Ron, even if they had become mildly closer.

He didn't leave, however, and took a seat next to Hermione with his own book in hand. Hermione didn't tell him to leave, so they sat in silence, reading separately yet still sitting together. She found that his presence was comforting. He wasn't like Harry, who would keep on the subject, making jokes about it in order to cheer Hermione. And he _definitely_ wasn't like Ron, who had started the whole mess in the first place.

"Why are you doing this?" Hermione finally asked.

"Doing what? Sitting with you?" He asked and Hermione nodded. "You helped me when I was upset. I guess I'm just trying to return the favor." The answer was enough to satisfy her and they continued with their novels.

"Hermione?" someone called, causing the two of them to jump and look up for the speaker.

Hermione's heart panicked as she saw Harry giving her a death glare. How much time had gone by?

"Let's go." It was a demand.

Draco stood up first, his gray eyes hating every bit of Harry with their cool stare. He didn't say anything but Hermione was afraid that a fight would break out. Draco offered Hermione his hand to help her up but she was reluctant to take it, not really wanting to provoke Harry. Instead, she got to her feet on her own and followed Harry away.

The two Gryffindors wordlessly left the library. Hermione knew nothing had happened between her and Draco but the way Harry was acting made her feel ashamed of herself. It wasn't until they were halfway back to the common room that Hermione opened her mouth.

"We weren't doing anything, Harry. I don't know why you're so angry!" she exclaimed, stopping abruptly behind him.

"Do you have _any_ recollection of what he did last year?" Harry nearly shouted at her. "Spending time with him because you were instructed to was fine but finding you willingly alone with that thing, that _monster_- How do you think that makes me feel? How would Ron feel?"

"I told you, nothing happened!" Hermione argued, "He saw that I was unhappy about something and wanted to help. He's not the awful person you make him out to be!"

"I'm not going to fall for his lies and you shouldn't either," Harry advised and resumed the trip to the common room.

"You're not going to tell Ron, are you? He'll only overreact worse than you and like I said, we weren't doing anything, just reading," Hermione pleaded with him. Knowing Ron, he would probably track down Draco and tear him to pieces before Hermione could even explain.

Harry sighed. "No, I won't tell him, but you're going to have to talk to him about that other thing. That's why I came looking for you. I told him he was being an arse and he wants to apologize."

"Thanks."

"Please, I don't want to see you and Malfoy together again, okay?" Harry sounded like a concerned friend again, instead of an angry brother.

"Fine," Hermione stubbornly agreed. He had no right to tell her who to spend time with.


	6. Lip Locking Limits

Chapter Six

"Can we talk?" Ron asked, stopping Hermione before she could run off to breakfast.

She had managed to sneak past Ron after returning to the common room with Harry the previous night, wanting to give him a night to think about his mistake and feel guilty. She was going to keep up with the silent treatment but Ron had his arm in the doorframe, blocking Hermione's exit.

"A real apology or are you just going to snog me until I forgive you?" she responded with bitter sarcasm.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pressured you into anything and I won't try it again until you say you're ready," Ron said. It was short and simple but Hermione could see the torture in his blue eyes.

"I should just tie your hands behind your back next time," she laughed lightly, taking his hands and demonstrating by holding them behind his back and leaving a kiss on his apologetic lips.

"Why? So you can take advantage of me?" Ron smirked, "And I can always try taking your clothes off with my teeth if I really wanted to."

Hermione's eyes popped in astonishment, her face turning red. "_You wouldn't,_" she glared at him.

Still securing his hands, she stood on her toes to properly reach Ron's mouth with her own. The kiss intensified quickly but before either of them had a chance to get into it, Hermione pulled back, grinning mischievously.

"That's it?" Ron looked as if Christmas had been cancelled. Hermione made to kiss him again but right before she found his lips, she released his hands and turned to leave.

"I need to teach you a lesson in self control," she informed him, a wicked smile playing on her innocent face.

The two spent the rest of the day busy with schoolwork. Hermione would only allow Ron to wrap his arms around her or hold her hand. His lips couldn't be found anywhere near hers and while Hermione greatly enjoyed kissing Ron, she knew there was more to a relationship than physical contact.

The day came and went and the weekend faded away. Hermione once again met Ron before classes and tried to place a good morning peck on his cheek.

"Wait!" Ron held her back, "Am I only allotted a certain number of kisses per day?"

"Yes, but if you're good, maybe I'll throw in a bonus one."

"Okay, then don't kiss me at all until tonight when we're alone. This way we can skip all of the quick ones and just have one big one tonight!" Ron looked pleased with his logic. Hermione didn't.

"I decide when to I want to kiss you, though," she reminded him. Ron sighed in defeat and allowed his girlfriend to kiss his cheek.

They ate breakfast with Harry, then the trio sat through Transfiguration. When it ended, Hermione saw Draco throw her a glance from across the room.

"You two can go ahead, I need to talk to Tonks about something," she waved them on. Harry noticed that Draco had lingered in the room as well and shot Hermione a stern look, which she ignored, turning to join her Professor.

"What can I help you two with?" Tonks asked, busily preparing for her next class.

"I'm done catching Malfoy up to the class. We just wanted you to know so that we could end the tutoring," Hermione explained in an accomplished manner.

Tonks pulled a roll of parchment from stack on her desk and showed Hermione the grade. It was Draco's and he had failed.

"You're still to tutor him if he keeps failing exams," Tonks stated, almost as if it was Hermione's fault.

"What?" Hermione asked in disbelief. She looked angrily at Draco who didn't seem surprised at all that his marks were so low. "You said he just had to go to class to stay at Hogwarts. You never mentioned—"

"Hermione, in order to stay in classes and therefore stay in Hogwarts, one needs to try in classes. If you fail a class, it doesn't really count, does it?" Tonks pointed out. She sounded more like a teacher than the friend she had been in the past.

"No, it doesn't," Hermione sighed frustratedly and trudged out the door.

She had only gotten a few meters down the corridor when a hand shot out, grabbing her wrist on the backswing of her arm.

"Hey, I'm sorry— I didn't know she would make us keep meeting!" Draco confessed, dropping her wrist. He could tell that Hermione was upset with him. Maybe she was just in an awful mood that week.

"You're so smart," Hermione started, angry. "I just don't understand why you don't try!"

Draco paused to formulate a good excuse but nothing sounded right. "I pay attention, I know the spells and theories. There's nothing else for you to teach me," he said with a defeated, somber note in his voice, "I'll be there tonight but if you don't want to show up, that's fine with me."

Hermione watched him leave, unsure of what she was going to do.

* * *

><p>Draco took a seat at the usual table in the Transfiguration room. He didn't know why he had given Hermione the choice. He should have just told her not to come at all and they could just pretend to have lessons. He would start trying in class and soon they wouldn't have to lie about the sessions. There was one minute until seven o'clock and Hermione was usually there before him.<p>

Seven o'clock came and went though, and she had failed to make an appearance. Part of Draco was glad. He wouldn't have to drag his lazy self out of the dungeons anymore and he didn't have to get along with the bushy haired, know-it-all Gryffindor. The other part of him and he wasn't sure how big of a part it was, was crushed. Had he seriously believed that she would come? Why was he so eager to spend nights alone with her in a cold, dusty classroom? There were plenty of other things that could take his mind off of the troubles in his life and Hermione Granger should have been on the bottom of that list.

It was ten minutes later when Draco finally accepted that she wasn't going to show. He closed the door softly behind himself and started walking. He wasn't going back to the Slytherin common room, however. He hadn't consciously decided where to go but his feet were guiding him. It wasn't until he heard footsteps that he lifted his eyes and noticed the path he was on.

"You're late," he said, spotting a troubled-looking Hermione walking toward him.

"Were you coming to get me?" she asked, confused.

"I have no idea where the Gryffindor common room is, to tell you the truth," he admitted, producing a half smile. "Do you want to go for a walk with me?" His tone became serious.

Hermione didn't answer but followed his lead up flights of stairs and around the castle. They made their way in silence, keeping just enough distance between them so that they weren't touching. A while passed before they reached the foot of a spiral staircase and Hermione ceased walking.

She turned to Draco, her eyes cold in the night.

"Why did you bring me here?" She sounded afraid, her voice straining to remain calm. "Why did you bring me to the Astronomy Tower?"

"I don't know why. I just thought maybe... maybe it would help me." Draco's voice sounded just as bad as Hermione's, if not worse. "You can go back if you want."

"I'm not leaving you here, alone," Hermione pledged.

They slowly ascended the spiral stairs together and, reaching the top, quietly recalled the events that occurred last June. Draco refused to stand on the spot along the battlements that Dumbledore had spent his final moments.

"I'm a coward," he broke the eerie howl of the wind in the open air. He leaned back, the walls of the tower supporting his exhausted frame.

"_You_didn't kill him. How does that make you the coward?" Hermione asked quietly, finally able to meet his eyes.

"I'm a coward for letting all of those Death Eaters into this castle. I'm a coward for bending to the Dark Lord's will and for trying to please my disgusting Death Eater father. I'm a coward for running away from my problems instead of finding ways to making living feel less like Hell." Draco allowed himself to slip down, collapsing on the tower's floor. He placed his elbows on his knees, holding his face in his palms.

Hermione sat next to him and every once in a while she heard him emit a choked sob. It was a frightening sound that pierced her heart, keeping her frozen at his side.

"Everything changed that night," Draco lifted his head. Hermione couldn't bring herself to look at his face. She didn't want to see his swollen, red eyes or the tears dropping silently from them. "I would be sitting in some squashy common room chair, arrogantly chatting about some useless Dark Arts filth if I had gone through with it."

"Which life would you prefer?" Hermione asked, eyes fixed on the dark sky.

Draco hesitated to consider each circumstance. "As horrible as I feel right now and as much as I hate myself, I'd still chose this life."

"You didn't kill him. No matter how bad everything else was that night, you did the better thing," Hermione reassured him.

"Thanks," Draco said.

"For what?"

"For coming with me tonight. And for saying that about me," he said and slowly pushed himself to his feet, offering his hand to her.

"I don't mind being with you. It's Ron and Harry that struggle with the thought," Hermione said as Draco pulled her off the floor.

It was only when he let go of her hand, that Hermione realized how very close they were standing. She slowly brought her eyes from the floor to stare unblinking at his, wondering what was going to happen next. As he studied her face, trying to read her expression, she could feel the hot breath coming from his lips, mere inches from hers. The blood was pounding in her ears. Her body was drawing itself closer and closer, aching for some sort of physical contact, but before anything could happen, Draco took a step back.

"We should go," he said flatly, avoiding any eye contact as he started back down the tower.

Hermione felt oddly rejected. She shouldn't have felt anything but guilt, and here she was, wondering what had just happened and what had gone wrong. The silence was growing more and more awkward with every step they took.

"I'm sorry," Draco apologized finally, "I don't know why that happened. It must have been the atmosphere or mood or something, right?"

Hermione opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind and gave a small nod of agreement.

They reached the point in the path where each had to go in the opposite direction.

"Are we still on for Wednesday night?" Draco asked, not wanting to make Hermione uncomfortably obligated.

"Seven o'clock. I'll try not to be late," she replied and departed.

The common room was occupied by only a small number of students when Hermione entered it. She spotted Ron by the fire and nervously approached him.

"What took you so long?" he asked suspiciously as if he thought Hermione had been sleeping with Draco instead.

"Well, you made me late so that added time," Hermione began, trying to come up with a good lie, "And then, I had to yell at him for not trying harder in class when he really does know what he's doing."

"Sounds like you had a great time," he said sarcastically and changed the subject, "I only received one kiss so far today and it was barely a kiss. Shall we find somewhere private for the remaining ones?"

Hermione felt her heart tighten as she remembered what had just happened, or almost happened, with Draco.

"Not tonight, Ron," she said trying not to sound too upset, "I'll see you in the morning." She allowed him to give her a small hug and retreated to her dormitory.


	7. The Truth

A/N: I just wanted to say a quick thank you to all of you who have read, subscribed to, and favorited this story so far! And an even greater thank you to those who have reviewed! I really appreciate it.

Chapter Seven

The signal for the end of class had just sounded causing a rush of chatter to fill the Transfiguration room. Cheerful smiles were plastered on many of the seventh years' faces as Tonks had chosen to not assign any work over the weekend.

"No work," Ron repeated what was announced, waiting for Hermione to place her many class notes in her book bag, "Does this mean you won't be tutoring tonight?"

"No, we still learned new spells and concepts today. Usually we go over those a few times," Hermione rolled her eyes.

A number of weeks had gone by since the trip to the Astronomy Tower and Ron had been giving Hermione trouble about the lessons every day since. He didn't like knowing that his girlfriend was alone with a guy, let alone Malfoy, and every day, Hermione would have to remind him there was nothing to worry about. The arguing was slowly pushing them apart and on most days, Ron was already asleep by the time Hermione returned from lessons, having gone to bed early.

"And reviewing a spell or two takes over an hour?" He looked skeptical, peering over Hermione's shoulder in order to throw a menacing glare at Draco who was on the other side of the room.

"No," Hermione wasn't going to lie, "Sometimes we talk."

"About?" Ron asked, tensing up as his hands involuntarily formed fists.

"What does it matter? We talk about life. We talk about death. We talk about books. We talk about _how annoying you can be!_" Hermione exclaimed, heading for the exit, which happened to be Draco's direction as well.

"Granger?" Draco called as she came closer, "Can I have a quick word with you?"

Hermione turned to Ron. "You don't have to wait for me. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Once again Ron appeared unconvinced but he left anyway.

"He must really hate me," Draco laughed as he watched Ron leave.

"And he has no problem letting me know," Hermione added, "What did you need to tell me?"

"While you two were bickering, I spoke to Tonks. She needs this room for something else tonight so Flitwick's letting us use his room," Draco informed her.

"Okay, I'll see you there, then."

"Have fun dealing with Weasley!" Draco sarcastically said goodbye.

"I always do," Hermione muttered and rushed to catch up with Ron.

The time came that night for Hermione to meet Draco in the Charms classroom. She pulled herself out of Ron's arms and off the couch, waiting for him to complain.

"Will you be asleep when I come back? It _is_ the weekend. You can sleep late, you know?" Hermione asked, surprised that he hadn't said anything yet.

"I don't know, I think I'm becoming more of a morning person," Ron said, rising to meet Hermione.

"Well, goodnight, just in case you _are_ asleep." Hermione kissed him quickly but enough to say that she loved him.

"Goodnight."

Hermione met Draco in the Charms room on time and began summoning books and objects off the shelves. They weren't the ones she had imagined using but seeing as those were in the other room, these ones would have to take their place. During the lesson after the uncomfortable Astronomy Tower incident, Hermione and Draco had agreed on reviewing spell work during sessions rather than just spending time together. They figured they could still use the practice for their N.E.W.T.s.

"We went over transforming parts of objects into animal parts in class today, do you want to do that, Malfoy?" Hermione asked, settling herself in one of the old chairs.

"That sounds wonderful," Draco joked, taking out his wand and pointing it at one of the school books on the table.

After successfully performing the spell, the front and back covers turned into feathery wings and the book fluttered once around the room before Draco turned it back to its original form.

"Your turn," he nodded toward Hermione.

Hermione aimed her wand at one of the cushions used by the first years and transfigured the four corner tassels into a set of canine legs. The half-dog, half-cushion creature sprung off of the table and being surprisingly fast, charged out the open door into the rest of Hogwarts.

"Should we go after it?" Hermione laughed at the thought of a cushion-dog terrorizing the school.

"Probably," Draco agreed and raced with Hermione to catch it.

They spotted the creature sprinting away down the corridor and went after it. It had quite a lot of energy for being part-inanimate object. Finally, they managed to chase it into a section of corridor that happened to be a loop with no other exits.

"You go right, I'll go left and we'll trap it in the middle. Try to be sneaky, alright?" Draco devised his simple plan. Hermione nodded, slightly out of breath, and they took off in opposite directions.

Hermione silently tiptoed around the corridor, her wand out and ready to reverse the transfiguration the moment she saw the thing. She edged near the final turn, preparing to see Draco down the other end and the creature in the middle of them.

Hermione quietly turned the corner and to her surprise came upon two unidentifiable students having an intense snog with hands and other body parts all over the place. In the background, she spotted Draco jogging toward her, holding the defeated cushion. Hermione couldn't just leave, though. As Head Girl, it was her job to stop students from doing things— like having a good snog— in the corridors.

"Excuse me?" she loudly interrupted them, hoping they would pay attention, "I'm Head G—"

The pair separated to see what had interrupted them. Hermione felt every nerve in her body freeze as she met Ron Weasley's guilty blue eyes.

"Hermione! It's not what it looks like!" Ron exclaimed pushing Lavender Brown off of him.

Hermione didn't want to wait for his apology of lies. She couldn't look at him or even open her mouth to rebut for fear that her voice would completely fail if she tried. She forced her legs to move and started running for the solitude of her bed in the Gryffindor Tower as tears burned her eyes.

"You're disgusting," Draco spat at Ron, watching Hermione run, now out of sight. With one swift and determined motion, he swung his fist straight into Ron's face, but before Draco could see how much damage he'd caused, he sprinted after Hermione.

He easily closed the distance between them and found her running up a staircase.

"Granger!" he shouted, trying to make her stop. She ignored him, her sobs audible from afar.

"Granger! Wait!" Draco tried again with little success, almost catching up to her.

"Hermione!" He called with whatever breath he had left and managed to grab hold of her hand from behind.

Hermione ceased running as she spun around in Draco's grip. To his surprise, she threw her arms tight around his neck and buried her face in his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Draco took her hands, unwound her arms, and went to take a step back. He stopped, though, when he saw her lift her head helplessly to look pleadingly into his eyes.

"I—" he began protesting but never finished as he released Hermione's shaking hands and placed his arms around her trembling frame. The space between them disappeared in an instant as Hermione continued to cry into his shirt. He had no idea what to do. He had never had to comfort anyone in his entire life. Nervously, he rested his head on top of Hermione's and gently stroked her bushy hair.

They remained as they were for some time and eventually Hermione's breathing slowed and her shuddering sobs occurred less often. Draco cautiously lifted a finger to her eyes and brushed away the tears. He couldn't stand seeing her destroyed like this.

The sound of foot steps down the corridor caused Hermione to pick her head up. Her eyes were red and swollen but through her tears she could see Ron approaching. Draco protectively tightened his hold on her as if Ron were going to attack, but Hermione resisted slightly.

"Haven't you hurt her enough for one day?" Draco nearly growled at Ron, noticing blood stains on his shirt and the beginning of a black eye.

Ron ignored him, "I'm not here to beg for forgiveness," he said to Hermione, "I just wanted to talk with you."

Hermione didn't know how to respond. She turned to Draco for help.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he told her, hoping she would refuse.

"I'll talk, but it won't change anything between us," Hermione told Ron. Draco sighed an inaudible sigh and dropped his arms from around Hermione.

"You'll be alright?" he muttered into her ear before she stepped away.

"I think so," Hermione whispered and followed Ron in the direction of the Gryffindor Tower, leaving Draco with a lot on his mind.

Ron made sure to keep his distance from Hermione.

"I actually was going to beg for forgiveness until I saw that I was right," he started, sounding smug with himself.

"Right about what?" Hermione asked, her head still spinning from everything that had just happened.

"You and Malfoy," Ron said, and after receiving another confused look, continued, "And the relationship you two have been keeping secret."

"And which part are you right about? The fact that it _doesn't exist_?" Hermione's pulse was rising.

"Then what was just going on between you two?" Ron raised an eyebrow, trying to find evidence.

"Nothing!" she exclaimed, "I was crying because of _you_ and he was there to comfort me like any friend would! There was never anything going on. You were just paranoid and jealous and wanted someone to snog because unlike every other girl in this school, I have some dignity and want more than a purely physical relationship!"

"So, you don't have feelings for him?"

Hermione stopped walking. They had reached the Fat Lady's portrait and she didn't want all of Gryffindor to hear their conversation.

"I have feelings for _you_," she answered, "As hurt and angry as I am because of you, I still love you, but I can't be with you after what you did."

Ron seemed satisfied with the fact that she still loved him and said the password to let them in. "Are we still friends?"

"Friends? We've been friends since first year. Something like this couldn't keep us from being friends. We were only dating for a few months, though, and look at all the fighting we've done. We obviously don't work well as anything more than friends and I'm just going to have to get over you. But I'm not about to run into your arms and forgive you," Hermione confessed, stepping inside the crowded common room.

"So, you still love me but you don't want to anymore and you're really upset with me but we're still friends?" Ron went through his list, making sure he understood.

"Friends that are currently not speaking to each other," Hermione stated and went up to her dormitory.

She lay face down on her bed with the curtains shut, thinking about what Ron had said and what she had told him. It was true, she still loved him, but one thing was bothering her. She hadn't answered his question correctly. _You don't have feelings for him?_ Ron had asked about Draco and Hermione had subconsciously avoided answering it. Why wasn't she able to tell him what he wanted to hear? _Did_ she have feelings for Draco?

For the second time that night, Hermione's eyes flooded with tears of confusion as she remembered how close her and Draco had been just now and at the top of the Astronomy Tower. Had she really fallen for the one she was supposed to hate without even realizing it?


	8. Torture

Chapter Eight

Draco eyed Hermione from across the Great Hall. She was reading a book while breaking her toast into tiny pieces, none of which were entering her mouth. She was alone, however, even though Ron sat with Harry at the total opposite end of the long table. They were as far from each other as possible.

Hermione looked up, feeling a pair of eyes watching her, and met Draco's piercing gaze. Neither of them looked away, staring across the crowded hall. This was it. Draco knew what he had to do, what he had lost an entire night's sleep over, not that he slept much anyway.

He stood up and walked swiftly to sit across from Hermione.

"Are you busy?" Draco asked, knowing it didn't matter what the answer was. He was going to do this whether she was busy or not.

Hermione shook her head, closing her book and putting it in her bag.

"Can you take a walk with me?" he asked and Hermione noticed how off his voice sounded. It was as if he was going to tell her horrible news or something.

She rose and together they shuffled out of the Great Hall.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Hermione asked on the way out.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired. I barely slept last night." His thoughts were obviously somewhere else, Hermione noted after hearing his short responses.

"Were you alright after talking with Weasley?" he asked, not knowing how he was going to start.

"I've been better," Hermione sighed, following him through random parts of the castle, "He was jealous of you. He— He thought we were together."

Draco paused before taking another step. He didn't say anything, though.

"Thanks for staying with me last night." Hermione felt her face turn hot. She didn't like having him see her so vulnerable.

"I didn't mind," Draco admitted, "You were a wreck and needed a friend to comfort you."

"We're friends then?" Hermione asked, not sure what she wanted to hear.

Draco hesitated as a group of first years passed, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Here, let's get out of the corridor. I don't need people listening." He found an unlocked room and closed the door behind Hermione.

They sat on desks facing each other. Draco took a deep, nervous breath before starting. "I know this probably isn't the best time to tell you, what with last night, but I knew it couldn't wait any longer. I needed to make sure that you knew your options before you did anything."

"My options?" Hermione asked, feeling her throat start to tighten.

"I knew I would regret it if I didn't tell you and you ended up with someone else, without knowing," he explained then looked her straight in the eyes. "Hermione, I love you."

"What?" she asked, all the air leaving her lungs in surprise.

"I don't know what you did to me or how this happened, but I love you," Draco repeated, waiting for Hermione to get over the shock.

"You're crazy! Why— Why are you telling me this?" she looked like she might faint.

"I told you. I wanted to make sure you knew before you made any decisions. If you forgave Ron without knowing this, I would have regretted it. This way, if you forgive him, it's because you don't have any feelings for me and I can move on," Draco explained, urgently trying to make Hermione understand him.

"Why did you have to tell me _now_?" Hermione felt her pulse rising, "Last night was horrible! I'm confused and I'm hurt and I need time before I think about relationships again! Why now?" she asked, frustrated by all of the emotions she was feeling.

"Because I don't know when or if you're going to waltz back into Weasley's arms and I needed to say it before that happened!" Draco repeated himself. This was not going as he had planned, everything was starting to crash around him.

"You saw me last night! I'm obviously not heading his way anytime soon. Couldn't this have waited a few more days?" Hermione stood up to leave but Draco blocked the exit.

"Do you want the real reason I told you? The deeper reason?" Draco felt himself starting to break. "_You're_ the reason! Not because I don't want you with someone else. It's because you taught me not to hold anything back and to stop locking my emotions away. I thought I would listen to you but it turns out that even when you drop all your barriers and work up the courage to say what's on your mind, people still don't want to hear it."

Draco didn't want to see Hermione's reaction but he forced himself to look up from the cold ground. He saw silent tears running down her cheeks and sighed heavily. "Do you love me?"

Hermione's voice had left her. "I can't," she barely whispered, unable to watch his face change.

"You can't or you don't?" She could hear the pain in his voice. "It's a yes or no question, just please answer it," Draco pleaded.

"I can't," Hermione repeated louder than before. She saw Draco run his fingers in a frustrated manner through his hair.

"That's not good enough!" Draco nearly shouted, causing Hermione to jump.

Hermione made for the door again but this time Draco grabbed her wrists, pulling her close. "Do you love me?" he asked once more.

"No," she answered but Draco didn't believe it.

"Look me in the eyes and say it." He sounded defeated.

Hermione lifted her head to see his tortured gray eyes but she couldn't bring herself to repeat the denial. Her silent tears became quiet audible. "I can't be with you," she managed to choke out but Draco realized what it really meant. She couldn't say no.

"What's stopping you?" Draco's own voice was now straining to work, "If it's Ron, that's an awful excuse. You just caught him with his ex-girlfriend. How could you love him after that?"

Hermione brushed the tears from her eyes. "Part of it's Ron, part of it isn't. It's just wrong! I'm a Gryffindor, you're a Slytherin! I shouldn't have feelings for you and you shouldn't have them for me. I shouldn't even be friends with you after everything in our past!"

"You know..." Draco breathed, "It hurts like hell when you love someone who doesn't love you in return." He couldn't hold it in any longer, "But it hurts _an infinite amount more_ when you love someone who won't _allow_ herself to love you in return." He let go of her wrists, waiting for her to run off but she didn't.

"I'm sorry. I just want things to go back to how they used to be." She let out a heavy sob.

"Would that make you happy? If everything went back to how it was?" Draco muttered. If it made her happy, he would do it, even if he were hurt in the process.

"It would," Hermione whispered, though she wasn't sure if she truly believed it.

Draco stepped away from the door and walked to the other side of the room, his way of telling her to get out. He couldn't watch Hermione leave, though, but he heard her soft footsteps die away and he started for the dungeons.

"What's wrong with you?" someone called from behind Draco.

"Leave me alone, Weasley." This was the last person Draco needed to hear from. He kept walking.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating today?" Ron continued, trying to cause a fight, "Hermione's free for you to take now! I saw you two walk off together. What happened?" Draco stopped, his heart beating faster.

"You want to know what happened?" he began, "You had the most amazing girl in your arms and you broke her heart because you thought she was with _me_. You had nothing to worry about, she'll never let herself end up with someone like me. I'm not good enough for her, but apparently you are," Draco said through gritted teeth. Saying it out loud hurt even more than he thought it would.

"Well, as long as she doesn't end up with you, that's fine with me," Ron smirked, driving the stake harder into Draco's already beaten chest.

Draco tried with his best effort to ignore him and hurried off to the Slytherin common room. Thankfully, Ron didn't follow. Draco had no idea what he was going to do. He approached the entrance to the dark Slytherin common room in a rush, thinking of his dormitory where he would spend the rest of the next few days, probably faking illness, but stopped when someone in the dungeon corridor caught his eye.

Hermione wanted everything the way it was before they had spent all of those hours together, but did that also mean before the beginning of the year? Could Draco just return to his lifeless, zombie-state or could he go further back? The more time he erased, the better off Hermione would be, the better off he hoped to be.

The pain was too much to handle. Draco had spent the past few months studying and working hard. He had practiced spells with Hermione and had started reading more. He had tried to make the most out of his awful situation and even convinced himself that he might have a life after Hogwarts after all.

Draco swiftly approached the person he had found, knowing what was about to happen.

"Draco?" the dark-haired Slytherin looked up, confused, almost as if she were seeing a ghost.

Instead of responding, Draco hastily pressed his lips against hers in a rough kiss. His hands tangled in her hair as he hungrily attacked her lips with his own. He backed her up to the cold wall, letting her hands travel down his body and her tongue dance with his.

"Why are you doing this?" the girl breathed against his lips, pulling back slightly.

"Don't talk, Parkinson," he ordered and set his mouth to hers once more.

Draco hooked Pansy's legs around his waist and carried her to the nearest classroom. Placing her on one of the tables, he held himself carefully above her as their kiss intensified. He felt her hands play with the hem of his shirt and didn't bother to stop them when they slipped under to rest on his chest. He wondered if she could feel his heart pounding away, hating the fact that it continued to do so.

Mindlessly, he began opening the buttons of Pansy's blouse, kissing down her jaw to her exposed neck. Pansy sat up to slowly lift Draco's shirt over his head. She looked startled when she saw his face.

"Are you crying?" she asked, sounding sincere for the first time in her life.

Draco's distraction had worked. The pain was still there but he could no longer feel it. He couldn't feel anything. He knew the solution was only temporary, though. The moment he was alone again, the numbness would end and he would be in hell once more.

"Don't talk," Draco ordered, trying to push the though quickly from his mind. He attempted to lock his lips with Pansy's but she held him back, her hands pushing against his bare chest.

"As nice as this is," she sighed, "I still don't understand."

"There's nothing to understand," Draco murmured in her ear as he brought her back down on the desk.

Pansy was eager to continue, snaking her hands down to Draco's belt buckle as the kiss deepened. He felt his own hands trail down to rest on Pansy's exposed hips.

He hated himself for what he was about to do but he knew it would numb everything, even the pain. It was purely a physical relationship, but if that's what he needed, he didn't care. His cold heart beat furiously. He wanted to scream, to give up, to die. But he held back, trying to concentrate on the moment, and nothing seemed to matter anymore.


	9. Moving On

Chapter Nine

The world was slowly falling to pieces, or at least Hermione thought it was, and the worst part was that she was alone. She was angry at the first person she would have sought comfort from, the second person was with the first, and the third person probably hated her by now. She didn't have many close relationships and was therefore left to deal with her problems in solitude.

Even though the sun was shining through the ceiling-high windows of the Great Hall, it was a dreary day for Hermione. She had remained in her dormitory for most of the previous day and she was dreading having to show her face in class.

She had made it through her morning meal without having to look at Draco. She didn't want to see him sulking around again because of her, but she felt a sharp twinge of guilt thinking that he wasn't there because he couldn't bear to see her. Ron even knew better than to sit nearby, realizing that it would only cause frustration.

She decided to head to Transfiguration early in hopes that she could give Draco a weak apology for what she had said. Hermione knew it wouldn't happen, though. She had meant everything she told him. She could never be with him. It was unnatural and no one would ever accept the relationship. It would cause problems with her friends and they would be in a situation worse than the current one. Maybe she could try explaining this to Draco if not now, then later that day at their lesson— yet another thing Hermione wasn't looking forward to.

The corridors were bustling with students moving to their first class of the day. Hermione kept her eye out for Draco and Ron, being avoided by the first, and avoiding the second. Draco wasn't difficult to find, though, and with a sudden, jolting shock, Hermione spotted him tangled in the arms of Pansy Parkinson, having a drawn out goodbye snog in the corridors.

A split second passed, long enough for Hermione to register what was going on and long enough for her to crash into a fifth year Hufflepuff boy. The crash knocked both of their books to the floor.

The noise was enough to grab Draco's attention as he pulled away from Pansy. Hermione mumbled a quick apology to the Hufflepuff and glanced up from the ground to meet Draco's piercing eyes. He looked torn, the same agony etched in his face as the last time Hermione had seen him. She wanted to blurt out an apology but held back, barely able to find her voice.

"Watch where you're going, Granger!" She heard Pansy's shrill voice and ignored it. She was half waiting for Draco to add something but he kept his mouth shut as well.

"Let's go, Pansy," he muttered, tearing his eyes from Hermione and leading Pansy away.

When Hermione had said that she wanted things back the way they had been, she meant the way they were a month ago. She would be happy with Ron, who wouldn't secretly be with Lavender, and she and Draco would have their healthy and friendly relationship— nothing more and nothing less. Draco obviously took reversing time to mean completely erasing the entire seventh year so far and returning to his old ways.

Seeing him and Pansy together was proof to Hermione that she wasn't supposed to be with him. If he could drop her so easily to pick up with a dirty Slytherin, he didn't have true feelings for her. Plus, it seemed like he only wanted someone to snog, anyway, and Hermione had learned from Ron that no good could come from that.

She thought of the lesson she was supposed to have with Draco that night. There was no way, now, that she could handle it. It would be beyond uncomfortable and Hermione had nothing to say to him anymore. Draco had just made it clear that he wanted little to do with her so she thought it was best to do the same and stay away from him.

"Tonks?" Hermione called, stepping into the Transfiguration room. She was the first one there.

"Is everything alright, Hermione?" Tonks asked, clearing her desk from its clutter. She must have looked awful lately, everyone was asking her if she was okay.

"I don't think I can help with Draco Malfoy anymore." Hermione had trouble saying his name. "It might be better if Ernie Macmillan taught him from now on."

"Why? Did something happen between the two of you? Should I be sending him to Professor McGonagall?" Tonks was concerned. Maybe she thought Draco had tried to attack Hermione.

"We just had a disagreement and it's going to be difficult to work together now," Hermione put it into simple terms. Tonks was a friend but she wasn't close enough for Hermione to divulge her love life to.

"Okay, I'll tell Mr. Macmillan later today," Tonks agreed, "Are you sure I don't have to be worried about this?"

"As long as Ernie's helping, there shouldn't be any problems," Hermione assured her and went to sit in the back of the classroom to wait for class to start.

Time moved slowly for Hermione but eventually the days passed and the holidays were approaching. She rarely saw Draco and when she did, he was usually with Pansy. He had stopped glancing up whenever she passed by and she eventually got used to being alone. Her wounds weren't healed but she had found a bandage to keep herself together.

It was late in the evening when Hermione heard her name called for what seemed like the first time in ages. She turned to meet Harry's green eyes.

"I was wondering what you were planning on doing for the holidays," Harry came right out and said what was on his mind. Hermione liked this about him.

"My parents are going skiing together, so I thought I'd just stay here," Hermione confessed feebly. She would have lied to anyone else.

She had decided to stay back at Hogwarts with the Professors and do some in-depth studying for the N.E.W.T. exams. She realized Draco would remain as well but she wasn't going to try and speak with him. As far as she knew, he was happy again with his Death Eater friends and girlfriend and she had no more business with him.

"Don't be stupid, you're not spending Christmas alone," Harry gave her a look as if she were ridiculous. He had spoken to her a few times since the break with Ron but not about anything serious. "You're invited to the Burrow."

"By whom?" Hermione raised a skeptical eyebrow.

Harry started counting on his fingers, "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Fred, George, Ginny—"

"Ron? I'm sure he doesn't want me there." It was the first time Hermione had brought Ron up with Harry.

"Believe me, he does. He knows he's been a real prat but he's afraid to talk to you." A smirk spread across Harry's face, "He doesn't want to be attacked by another flock of canaries, that's all." He laughed, lightening the mood considerably.

Hermione even let out a small chuckle. She hadn't felt like this in a long time.

"So, I'd better see you on the Hogwarts Express with us or I'll send the Order to come get you," Harry threatened in a mock serious tone.

"They have better things to do. I'll be there," Hermione agreed and went back to the work she was doing.

She couldn't concentrate, however, and started thinking of Ron. He wanted to see her and talk to her. Hermione had liked him, she had even loved him. What was there now?

Draco was there, but he neither wanted to see Hermione nor talk to her. He claimed he had loved her and she thought she had loved him but he had moved on and Hermione was therefore trying to.

Ron would always be there in some sort of relationship with Hermione, whether a friend or more, it was harder to let him go. Ignoring the fact that he was all for the snogging, he _was_the right person for Hermione. He was a Gryffindor from a respected wizarding family that Hermione could imagine herself part of ten years down the road.

A Slytherin with a Death Eater background, rich, snobby parents, and a death sentence placed upon his head just didn't make sense for Hermione. _Barely anything made sense anymore_, Hermione thought with a deep sigh.

* * *

><p>It was early in the morning, before the sun was up. Draco had finally fallen asleep after allowing his thoughts to eat away at his conscience, only to awake a short while later from a nightmare. He had changed out of his pajamas in a haste and sprinted through the dark castle for the nearest bathroom.<p>

He slammed the bathroom door shut after making sure it was empty. Breathing out of control, he could feel the sweat roll down his face as he steadied himself on the cool marble sink. His heart pounded angrily in his chest and looking up in the mirror, he saw dark circles under his ghostly eyes. He couldn't take it anymore.

He growled in frustration, shooting his fist into his despised reflection and shattering the glass. He collapsed suddenly to the floor, taking quick and shallow breaths. Leaning his back against the wall, he grasped his bruised and bleeding hand, trying not to scream in defeat.

There was no way he could keep doing this.

The pain in his hand took over, suppressing his intolerable feelings. He was miserable and there was nothing to do about it. He could only suck it up as best as he could and at the end of the school year he would be able to start over somewhere no one knew his name or his past.

Draco had been spending all hours of daylight with Pansy to distract himself. His first lesson with Ernie had been a relief. He had gone, even though he had been expecting Hermione and he knew being with her would drive the stake harder into his chest. He had been holding onto a small hope, though, that Hermione would change her mind. But she didn't show up to that lesson. She had moved on.

The first morning light filled the dim bathroom, causing Draco to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, before rising to his feet. He was already counting down the days until he was out of Hogwarts and away from everything.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! I love to hear feedback from all of you and I really appreciate the few of you who have taken the time to review the story so far! I check my story hits and visitors so I've noticed that a very low percent of my readers are actually reviewing. I don't want to sound like I'm begging for reviews, but please leave one if you get the chance. Good or bad... all reviews help me grow as a writer! xxx_


	10. Liar

Chapter Ten

Snow was lightly falling on Christmas Eve upon the Hogwarts grounds when Hermione met her friends in the Great Hall for their trip to the Burrow. She still hadn't worked up the nerve to confront Ron again and was glad that Harry would be there as well to ease the tension.

Professor McGonagall arrived to check off the list of students leaving just to make sure that no one was sneaking around the castle unaccounted for during the break.

"I guess we should go stand on the line," Hermione suggested, cutting Harry off from his conversation with Ron.

They grabbed their trunks and dragged them to the other side of the hall where the line had started forming, with students already boarding the Hogwarts Express. Hermione, concentrating on not dropping her heavy trunk, failed to see where her feet were going and caught her toe on someone else's luggage.

A pair of hands reached out in an involuntary movement to stop her just in time from hitting the stone floor. Hermione, returned quickly to an upright position and felt her stomach tighten as she released Draco's hands, the ones she had taken hold of in order to save herself. He had been sitting nearby with Pansy, whose trunk had caused the accident, and by the look on his face, he hadn't realized who he had helped either.

"Sorry," Hermione mumbled feebly, looking away to pick her belongings up.

She waited for a moment to see if Draco would respond. He ignored her, sitting back with Pansy. Hermione took a few steps to continue her interrupted path when she heard Draco open his mouth and take a quick breath as if he were going to say something. She hesitated but didn't turn around to face him. No words came out, however, and she kept walking.

The trio boarded the train some time later and found an empty compartment. Ron and Harry wouldn't stop chatting about a new broom that was coming out in a few months, leaving Hermione time to gaze out the snowy window and wait for the train to leave the station.

Hopefully she would get a chance to speak with Ron alone over the next few days and sort things out. Hermione believed that patching things back together with him would help her see whom she truly had feelings for. If they were indeed for Ron, she would take it slowly with him and things would work out in the end. Hermione sighed inwardly— if her feelings were actually for Draco, she had no idea how she would deal with them. He and Pansy seemed pleased enough with each other for the moment.

* * *

><p>Back at the school Draco allowed his lips to linger on Pansy's for a second longer before she insisted that she had to go. She stepped out of the large oak doors on the way to Hogsmeade for the train. Worried for his own sanity, Draco watched his pain reliever disappear and sulked back to the Slytherin dungeon.<p>

He wasn't going to take his chances at going home for the holidays. His parents wouldn't welcome him at the Malfoy Manor and he doubted Pansy's parents would appreciate his visit either.

With his helpful distraction gone, Draco's thoughts immediately shifted to Hermione. When he had realized it was her he had stopped from falling, it was as if an electric shock had traveled through his system. He hadn't been that close to her in so long, and he blew his chance at saying something, _anything_to her. Now, she was off to spend time with Ron. Nothing good could come of that.

* * *

><p>Hermione awoke bewildered and confused on Christmas morning and took a few seconds to remember that she was sleeping in Ginny's bedroom. She sat up and placed her feet into her slippers before meeting the Weasleys downstairs.<p>

"Merry Christmas!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, spotting Hermione at the foot of the stairs. Everyone was sitting around the Christmas tree, unwrapping their presents. She noticed that Harry and Ron were still sound asleep, though, in Ron's uppermost bedroom located beneath the attic.

Hermione wished the same to everyone and seated herself by her small pile of gifts. They were the usual Christmas presents: a scarf made by Mrs. Weasley, some quills from Harry, a few sweets from Ron, and a rock-solid food substance from Hagrid that was clearly inedible. The last gift was a small box wrapped neatly with Hermione's name written across it. There was no indication of whom it was from.

Nervously, Hermione tore the paper and opened the box within. A small scrap of parchment lay on top of a simple, glittering hairpin. _Forgive me,_the note read in a handwriting Hermione couldn't recognize. She took the pin and pulled a few strands of hair back with it. If it was from Ron, she was determined to find out and talk to him later.

The chance came after a very filling Christmas breakfast. Hermione caught Ron before he went off with Harry again.

"Can we talk?" she asked, her voice shaking a little.

Ron paused before answering, not sure if he was completely prepared for this moment. _He _had wanted to be the one to approach Hermione and was still thinking of what he would say. He shoved his hands in his pockets like a child who had been found doing something he wasn't supposed to and nodded in response. Hermione could see the guilt reflecting in his saddened eyes.

"I just want to know the full story," Hermione started, leading Ron out into the yard of the Burrow. Someone had melted a path in the fresh snow for them.

"Why I cheated?" Ron asked for clarity. He saw Hermione grimace at the thought. She was obviously referring to that. "Do you remember when I accused you of being with Malfoy?" Another grimace. "Well, I thought you were sneaking around with him during your private lessons. I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but whenever you came back, you would barely pay attention to me. You wouldn't let me hold you or kiss you and I thought it was because you were with him."

"You thought I was cheating on you, so you cheated on me?" Hermione failed to see the logic in this.

"I was jealous and angry and paranoid," he listed, "And I needed something to replace you while you were away with your Death Eater friend," Ron admitted, putting a harsh emphasis on the last bit in order to show his distaste.

"We're not friends," Hermione corrected sharply as if it were an automatic reaction.

"I realized," he said, eyeing her, his own questions springing to his brain. "What exactly happened there?"

"I don't want to talk about that," Hermione told him through gritted teeth. She turned to walk back inside.

"I saw him the day after you found out. He looked awful," Ron said quickly in order to get Hermione to stop from leaving. "And after that day, you stopped your lessons with him. How do you explain that?"

"He told me some things that I couldn't deal with. I—"

"Told you what?" Ron moved to Hermione's side. She had turned pale, her chest closing up. "What did he tell you?"

"He said... he said he loved me." Hermione looked away, her eyes starting to sting with the memory.

"He _did_? Did you feel the same way?" he begged desperately for more information.

"I already told you I don't want to talk about it," she mumbled, sitting on the steps leading to the house. Ron joined her.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer but continued anyway out of curiosity. "It couldn't have been too bad, I mean you haven't spoken to him since then, or at least it seems that way."

"No, it was pretty bad," Hermione admitted with a sigh, remembering exactly what had been said.

"He was with Pansy the next day, though!" Ron exclaimed, "Either he lied to you or he's lying to her."

"That's because I told him I wanted things how they used to be." Hermione shuddered in the cold. Ron cautiously put his arm around her to keep her warm. She didn't flinch away.

"Feelings don't change overnight," he said, hinting at a double meaning. "Like I said, he's a liar. Either he never loved you and was trying to get something from you, or he doesn't really love Pansy. No offense, but I'm hoping it was the first."

Hermione tried to accept the first idea as well. It would make everything easier in her life if Draco never really liked her. It would mean her feelings for him weren't true and she could return to Ron.

"That's a nice hairpin, by the way," he added with a smile.

Hermione had completely forgotten about it. "Thanks, I got it this morning."

"Really? From who?" Ron asked in a way that made it difficult to tell if he was joking or not.

"I don't know, it didn't say," Hermione replied, suggesting it was from him.

"Well, that's a shame," Ron laughed and tucked a strand of her hair into it. "Do you forgive me?"

The words made Hermione's heart leap. _Forgive me,_the note had said. Was it just coincidence that he brought it up right after mentioning the hairpin?

"Yes, I forgive you," she said and was pulled closer by Ron's one arm.

"Good, because we're sitting under mistletoe!" Ron exclaimed causing Hermione's eyes to shoot up in alert. There was nothing above them. "I'm just playing with you," he grinned the goofy grin that Hermione hadn't seen in so long.

He helped her up and to Ron's surprise, Hermione gently wrapped her arms around his frame, pulling him closer.

"I missed you," she said, feeling his arms hold her as well.

They separated, though, Hermione claiming to have to start her work early and Ron wanting to eat some of the wizard treats Harry had given him.

Comfortably sitting by the Christmas fire, Hermione's thoughts weren't on her work, however. Ron and her were speaking again and now he knew about her situation with Draco. The more Hermione looked at it, the more she realized Ron must be right. Draco was lying to someone and whether or not it was her, she had no further clues. Feelings develop, they don't just spring out of nowhere.

She imagined two different scenarios. In one, Draco had liked Pansy the whole time and was possibly planning on using Hermione to make Pansy jealous. In the other, Draco had sincere feelings for Hermione and those feelings were still there. He was using Pansy to make Hermione angry. If this was the case, it was only partially working. Hermione wasn't jealous, she was just upset that he could throw her away so quickly.

She couldn't decide which idea sounded more plausible.


	11. Realization

Chapter Eleven

The holiday vacation flew by faster than Hermione would have liked it to. She was content for once and knew that going back to Hogwarts could potentially ruin this. Although she and Ron weren't together and were still only friends, if things continued peacefully for some time, maybe their relationship would re-grow. For the moment though, neither of them were keen on rushing back together.

Upon setting foot back inside Hogwarts, Hermione had secretly tried to gauge Draco's reaction to seeing her on good terms with Ron. To her disappointment, yet not surprise, he didn't have any reaction. Part of Hermione hoped that he was just holding all of his emotions back again, locking every thought inside his head to eat away at him while convincing others that he was fine. If she had proof that he was suffering, she might talk to him, but the other part of her felt that Draco honestly did not care that she was speaking to Ron once more.

She was on her way to the Gryffindor Tower the first day back's classes, when she heard her name called from behind.

"Yes?" she responded, greeting Ernie Macmillan.

"Professor Tonks wants to see you in her office," he told her, sounding like he was delivering an urgent telegram, "Don't worry, you're not in any trouble."

"Oh, well that's good to know, thanks," Hermione said, slightly confused, and made her way down the marble staircases to meet Tonks.

Then it hit her. She had swapped tutoring Draco with Ernie. This definitely had something to do with the private lessons and Hermione instantly felt her heart beat away in her chest. The last time Tonks had sent someone for her, Draco had been there as well. Hermione wasn't quite yet ready to be that close to him again.

She reached Tonks' open door and knocked anyway to grab her attention. She sighed in relief when Draco was nowhere to be found.

"You needed to speak to me?" Hermione clarified, entering the familiar room.

"I was reviewing recent exam grades during our time off and I happened to notice that ever since Mr. Macmillan took over for you, Mr. Malfoy's grades have dropped considerably," Tonks began, not bothering to have a friendly chat to calm Hermione down.

"How do you know it's not Malfoy's lack of effort rather than Ernie's teaching ability?" Hermione quickly asked, not wanting to hear what she assumed would come next.

"I didn't blame Ernie and I won't blame Draco either," Tonks sounded frustrated with the whole situation, "All I know is that when you were teaching him, he worked hard and was a much better student. If you're comfortable teaching him again, I would really like your help."

Hermione thought about this for a few moments. Would she be okay alone with Draco? If she focused strictly on transfiguration and avoided all questions and comments involving emotion, they wouldn't have a chance to get back to the subject of their feelings for each other, whether existent or not, right? Now that she was talking to Ron again, things could go back to normal, or at least try to.

She took a deep breath, "I'll do it. Same time as it used to be?"

"Yes, and the room will be unlocked as usual. Thank you so much, Hermione. You've been so helpful this year," Tonks smiled, knowing she could convince Hermione to agree even if she didn't want to. Hermione nodded and instead of going back to the common room, she went to meet Ron in the Great Hall.

It was nearly time for dinner but she couldn't eat. She was already feeling nauseous and any food she ate would only try to make its way back up.

"Are you sure you're doing the right thing? Do you want me to go with you?" Ron asked, trying to talk Hermione out of it. He wasn't saying this because he was jealous, though. This time he was truly concerned for Hermione's sanity, believing that if she put herself through any more emotional distress, she might crack.

"I know what I'm doing," Hermione insisted, pushing her food around her plate without actually eating it, "And you don't need to come with me, it'll only make the situation worse."

"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me," Ron looked down at the mountain of food he was preparing to eat and laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Hermione glanced at the clock over the entrance. It was nearly time to go.

"I'll see you later tonight," She stood up and received a disapproving look from Ron as if he knew something bad would happen, "Don't worry about me."

"Whatever you say, Hermione." He gave a slight wave and Hermione was off.

The transfiguration door was closed, the way it always was when Hermione was the first to arrive. This was good, it meant that she could have a few more moments to prepare herself. She pushed to door open and immediately heard frantic shuffling from the back of the room.

"What the hell, mudblood?" Pansy shrieked turning around from her position on Draco's lap as he quickly removed his hands from her blouse. "Can't you knock?"

Draco's face was a mix of embarrassment, horror, and confusion. He started to open his mouth to keep Hermione from leaving but nothing came out as he stared dumfounded and gently pushed Pansy from his lap.

Hermione exclaimed a sheepish apology and she could feel her cheeks grow hot as she backed out the door. "I'll just go," she said, shutting the door quickly and heading for Ron in the Great Hall. Maybe she _couldn't_ handle this.

"Wait, Granger!" she heard Draco call, walking, not running, after her. Hermione forced herself to stop and listen. "I'm sorry. If I had known— I made a deal with Macmillan to say he was helping me but to let me use the room with... with Pansy."

Hermione had imagined Draco's first words, speaking to her again, to be much different, much more romantic if anything. But, he was telling her about how he was snogging, and who knows what else, with Pansy in the back of a classroom, every other night. Wonderful.

"What are you doing, Draco?" Pansy's voice came from the doorway of the classroom. She glared at Hermione with her hands on her hips.

"Nothing, just go wait for me in the common room," Draco ordered her, this time not looking at Pansy, "I'll be there in an hour, we're working on something for Professor Tonks that I forgot about," he sort of lied.

"With _her_?" she asked, her voice dripping in disgust.

"Yes, now we need to work so please go," he said, annoyed, and Hermione could sense that something wasn't exactly right between them.

Once Pansy had let out an exaggerated sigh and headed to the dungeons, Hermione followed Draco back inside the room.

"You didn't need to do that," she insisted, her tone not as strong as she wanted it to be.

"I just thought that since you asked Tonks if you could tutor me again, you needed to tell me something," Draco voiced his curiosity, sounding distant with so many thoughts running around his head.

"I didn't ask to be here." Hermione saw Draco's expression harden slightly. "Tonks said your grades were dropping with Ernie teaching, or rather, no one teaching." Her eyes flickered to the back row of desks where Draco had just been with Pansy. He looked uncomfortable being there all of a sudden.

"I guess we should practice some spells, then?" he asked after receiving all of the information he needed to determine whether Hermione was there to teach or to talk. He had briefly convinced himself that she was there to confess her love or something ridiculous and regretted throwing Pansy out. He could use her help right now.

He seemed as lifeless as ever as he transfigured several things around the room. His eyes were barely focused and his voice was no more than a mumble. He was concentrating on the work, though, trying desperately to block Hermione out. They were back to the beginning, back to the awful tension and inability to communicate.

When the hour was nearly up and Hermione couldn't take the cold behavior both of them were displaying, she worked up enough Gryffindor courage to change the subject.

"Are you okay?" she asked, shaking a little. So much for avoiding emotions.

There seemed to be something deeper in her question, asking if he was sincerely alright with their situation instead of the usual chatter between acquaintances.

"I'm fine," Draco answered quickly like he had been responding automatically to the question for a long time. "Why? Are you?" he added after a long pause, the same depth implied.

"Yes," Hermione said, yet in reality she was the complete opposite of okay, and being with him wasn't making it any better. "You'll be here Wednesday, right?"

"At seven o'clock, and Pansy's not going to be here next time," he said plainly. If he were anyone else, he would have laughed after what he had just said, finding it awkwardly amusing, but Draco was just stating the truth. He was reverting back to being no more than a body without a soul or feelings or life and it bothered Hermione.

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, something she did when she was uncomfortable or nervous.

"That's a nice hairpin," Draco said, his eyes fixated on the gift which Hermione's sudden movement had drawn his attention to.

Hermione turned her head away so his piercing eyes were forced to look away.

"Umm, thanks. Ron gave—" she began in a quiet voice but cut herself off mid-sentence as her heart pounded away and thoughts rushed through her head.

"What?" Draco asked, urging her to continue.

Hermione abruptly stood up, hoping she didn't look as shocked as she felt. "Ron said the same thing," she told him, quickly altering her original words. Before Draco could comment, she was gone from the classroom and walking swiftly to the Gryffindor tower.

Everything made sense yet at the same time, nothing did. He had thought Hermione had changed her mind and this was the only reason he wanted to have the lesson. When he found out it was Tonks' decision, Hermione realized, was the moment he had turned sullen and depressed. She asked him if he was well and he was, then he asked her and she lied and said the same. If _she_ could lie about how she really felt, couldn't he?

And there was the hairpin. Draco had almost out of nowhere mentioned it. Well, Hermione _had_ moved her hair, but his expression had shifted when he brought it up. It was like he was trying to tell her something. If the pin was really from him, did that mean he still loved her? That's where it started to not make any sense. She asked herself the same question she must have asked over a hundred times: why would he be with Pansy if he still had feelings for her?

She climbed through the Fat Lady's portrait and within seconds, Ron was moving Gryffindors out of the way to pull her into his arms. She hadn't noticed she was crying, but he had. He didn't say anything at first but led her back out of the common room so as to not cause a scene.

"I am going to kill him!" Ron growled once the portrait had closed behind them.

"He didn't do anything, n-not tonight, at least," Hermione shuddered, stepping back and wiping her eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He had no idea what was going on. Maybe this had nothing at all to do with Draco.

Hermione reached into her hair and pulled out the mysterious hairpin that she had thought was from Ron. "Did you give me this?" she asked, afraid of the answer.

Ron raised a curious eyebrow; was she really so upset over the tiny thing? "No," he stated, "Why?"

It felt like someone had knocked the air out of her lungs. She forced herself to lean against the wall to keep her legs from giving out. It was no use though, she slide to the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees to hold herself together.

"What the hell is going on?" Ron exclaimed, frustrated as well as concerned for his friend.

Hermione looked up through her tears, the realization hitting her hard. "He still loves me," she sobbed weakly.

Ron looked disbelieving at her on the floor. "And do you love him?" he asked, his jaw tight.

Hermione feebly nodded her head, feeling shameful. Draco was a Slytherin, a former Death Eater, her enemy. She was a Gryffindor, the Head girl, Harry Potter's friend. This wasn't supposed to happen.

With one last look of disappointment and betrayal etched in his face, Ron left her alone in the empty corridor.


	12. The Astronomy Tower

Chapter Twelve

The frigid night air blew through the open Astronomy Tower but Draco couldn't feel it. He couldn't feel anything anymore. Every emotion that had played across his mind for the past few months had built up to such an amount that his soul could no longer bear it. Now, he was numb and empty and there was nothing left for him.

He lay flat on his back, his hands folded under his head as he gazed up at the dark sky. During his unexpected lesson, not yet an hour ago, he had finally accepted that Hermione was never in love with him, was never meant to be with him, was never going to be with him. After she had abruptly stormed out, Draco knew what he had to do. If he could accept everything about Hermione, the pain would go away. If the pain went away, he wouldn't need Pansy anymore.

He didn't bother to explain or give her any reason for them to not see each other anymore, but simply told Pansy it was over and headed to where he now lay. He wouldn't talk to her again or anyone else, for that matter. He wouldn't go to the private lessons, but he would do his work to make up for it. He would get through his final year at this bloody school and then he'd disappear and avoid Voldemort and his Death Eaters at all costs.

The sound of gentle footsteps reaching the top of the staircase shook Draco from his thoughts. The door to the tower opened cautiously and Draco felt his entire body tense when he saw who had invaded his privacy.

Hermione let out a startled gasp when she saw someone else, specifically Draco, was already there.

"I—I didn't know anyone else was up here," she said, her voice unsteady with sadness as she tried to stifle her tears from earlier that evening.

"It's not my tower. You can stay if you want," Draco muttered, barely opening his mouth when he saw Hermione begin to leave. He remained lying on the ground, keeping his eyes focused on the stars above.

She had gone to the tower for the same reason he had: to be alone and to be able to think without interruption. She needed to breathe and get fresh air to stop her crying, which had continued since she had spoken with Ron. Her eyes were stinging and with Draco there, the main reason behind the tears, the awful, guilty feeling inside her grew worse.

She seated herself against the opposite tower rampart and buried her face in her palms. She had gone all the way to the astronomy tower to think about her situation with the person sitting mere feet from her. There was no point in leaving now. She'd have to speak to him eventually and what better time was there than the present? Neither of them said anything for a while, though. Hermione couldn't find the right words to say just yet. No apology sounded good enough in her head and she didn't want to ruin her chance. She had managed to keep her breathing under some sort of control until Draco shifted his position, catching her attention and in the pale moonlight she could see the full effect of her past actions engrained in his expression.

His eyes were empty, just staring at whatever they lay on, not actually seeing things. His face appeared too tired to even show how depressed and removed he was. It was a heart-wrenching sight for Hermione, who believed it was all due to her.

Once again, she lost all control and her heavy sobs rang through the cool silence. Draco couldn't take it anymore. Was Hermione trying to destroy every last piece of his being? If she was crying over something between her and Ron, he was considering throwing himself over the battlements to stop the pain from returning full-blast. He abruptly rose to his feet and reached for the door, his head pounding and his stomach ready to be sick.

Hermione's weak voice stopped him before he could leave though. It was completely incoherent and he had no idea what she had choked out. He hesitated before allowing her one final chance. Turning on the spot, he glanced at her, the same blank expression remaining.

"I'm sorry," her scratchy voice repeated, just loud enough for him to hear.

He was frozen. He didn't how to respond. What did she mean? Was she crying because of him? Should he say something back? He remained planted at the door as his hand slowly dropped from the handle. Hermione managed to stand up, her knees shaking as she took one step closer.

"What do you mean?" Draco finally asked, uncertainty etched in his words.

"I can't keep hurting you," she spoke, a desperate tone to her voice, "I believed you up until tonight. I thought you were fine and happy with Pansy and had completely forgotten about me, but I was wrong. All this time, you've been suffering and it's all because of me."

"So what? I know I'm suffering. I know I'm miserable. Why do you need to remind me?" Draco asked harshly. His words stung Hermione, but she felt she deserved every bit of it

"I made a mistake and I don't know if I can ever fix it, but I'll try because… because I love you," Hermione said, freeing herself of the words that had been locked inside her since Draco had confessed his own love. This was the first time she had said it to his face.

Draco's eyes pierced her own as he tried to find the lie within them. The words were all true.

"I'm so sorry," Hermione said again, wiping new tears from under her eyes.

He didn't reply, but somehow Hermione felt a silent forgiveness. Draco reached out to carefully pull her hands from her face. He drew her as close to his body as possible, securing his arms around her as she buried her head in his chest to release her tears. He gently ran his fingers through her hair and she slowly relaxed. This was what both of them needed, someone to hold them and provide reassurance that the world was not really as awful as it often seemed.

Hermione felt one of Draco's fingers move under her chin and lift her head up off his chest. Their faces were nearly touching.

"Just promise me something. Promise me I won't get hurt," he whispered and she could feel his breath on her lips, her head starting to buzz, "I don't know if I can survive anymore pain." He waited for the response, locking his eyes with hers to be sure of the truth.

"I promise," Hermione said and felt every nerve in her body come alive as Draco closed his eyes and brushed his warm lips against her own.

The kiss wasn't like anything she had ever experienced with Ron. Although it was Draco, a Slytherin and a Death Eater, there was a certain innocence in the way his mouth barely grazed hers, how he seemed afraid to go any further because if he did, maybe she would disappear. Maybe this was all a wonderful dream and if he tested the boundaries he would wake up to the hell of real life.

He stopped and removed his mouth from Hermione's, but didn't shift away from her. They stood for a while, foreheads touching and breathing steadily. Hermione sniffled loudly, her tears finally stopping, and she could see the corner of Draco's mouth turn up. She sighed deeply and felt herself smile back.

"So, this is it? I'm not imagining this?" Draco sighed and intertwined his fingers with Hermione's.

"It took us long enough, didn't it?" Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes, thinking of all the drama that had gone on between them.

"But it probably wouldn't have felt this good if we hadn't suffered for it," he decided and kissed Hermione again, this time with a passion and fire that came with knowing it was actually happening.

They could feel each other smiling into the kiss as Draco slid his hand down from Hermione's hip to the back of her knee, hitching her leg around his waist. He supported her light frame, pulling her other leg up and feeling her arms hook around his neck. Their hearts raced with intensity and Hermione twisted her fingers through Draco's light hair. Carefully, Draco carried her down the tower steps and back inside the castle. He lowered her to her feet when he reached the dark corridor.

"It's late," he murmured into Hermione's ear, brushing her hair out of the way and securing it with his hairpin gift.

"I know, but I don't want to leave you," Hermione sighed. Her pulse was rushing. She was living on a high at the moment and she didn't want to come back to earth.

"Neither do I," Draco agreed.

"Then don't," she smiled playfully, tightening her arms around him.

He took her hands from behind his back and kissed each one. "You, Miss Head Girl, can't get into any trouble, so I'm going to walk you to Gryffindor Tower and say goodnight and then sneak down to the cold and dreary Slytherin common room where I won't be able to sleep, because I'll be too busy thinking about you," Draco revealed the game plan and started down the dark corridor. Hermione frowned.

"What about Pansy?" she asked timidly, trying not to think of what Draco had been doing with her.

His expression turned dark as he remembered the day's earlier events and how he had felt. The difference between then and the current moment was so drastic, but the change was greatly welcomed. "I know you don't want to hear me talk about her, but you were right. I was only with her to push away the pain, and after our lesson tonight, I made the choice to stop using her and take the pain head on, let it completely numb me," he paused to glance at Hermione's face to judge her reaction. She looked sick, her eyes cast down and her hands shaking in his.

"I did this to you, I'm a horrible person," she solemnly told him, "How can you still love me?"

"Believe me, this right here," he kissed her forehead, "Just being with you, holding you, talking to you, it all makes up for it. Nothing but losing you could ever make me that miserable, and nothing but having you come back could have ever saved me."

"Not even Pansy?"

"Not in a million years. That's why, after our lesson, when I just wanted to give up, I went and told her it was over," Draco said, and noticed some color return to Hermione's face. "She didn't ask why. I think even from the beginning she knew it was just physical and that it would never amount to anything."

"This—" Hermione closed her mouth without finishing the sentence. She didn't know if she should ask the question that had immediately popped to her mind. "This isn't going to be 'just physical,' is it?" She looked worried.

"Of course not. This won't end up like the Weasley or Pansy nonsense, I promise," he reassured her.

"Although, I'm not sure if I like that promise, considering how good this—" she stood on her toes to unexpectedly kiss him full on the lips for a few moments, "—is."

"I'd have to agree, it is quite pleasant," Draco smirked and glanced over Hermione's shoulder. "I guess I have to say goodnight now."

Hermione turned to see the Fat Lady's portrait. She turned back to face Draco and her eyes locked with his. They seemed to be staring into each other's souls, knowing this was how things were supposed to be. Neither of them wanted to look away as time seemed to stand still before them.

"Goodnight, Hermione," Draco broke the intense silence and lightly kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight," Hermione sighed and entered the common room, only just realizing how exhausted she was from the emotional day.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I hope you all liked this chapter! Finally, they're together! Anyway, thank you for reading and thank you to all the amazing people who reviewed the previous chapter and other chapters as well! I really appreciate it! xxx_


	13. Trust

Chapter Thirteen

She felt lighter than air, all of the guilt and worry and anxiety lifted from her conscience after finally fixing things with Draco. Hermione couldn't help but smile to herself as she shut the portrait hole behind her upon entering the common room. It must have been late, she concluded, seeing that the fire had nearly died out and was providing only a faint glowing light. It was enough, however, to illuminate a sleeping figure on the couch.

"Ginny?" Hermione tried to wake the redhead, gently shaking her arm.

She awoke groggily, wondering what was going on and spotted Hermione. A switch seemed to click in her head to remind her of something as her eyes lit up.

"Oh, good," she said, pulling a bit of parchment from her pocket, "You're alive."

"Of course I'm alive," Hermione gave her strange look, not sure what she was talking about. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, ask my prat of a brother," Ginny rolled her eyes and unfolded the parchment, "I found him with this earlier."

The Marauder's Map revealed itself and Hermione felt her blood start to rush in anger. "He was spying on me?" she asked, annoyed.

"Well, at first he was worried because he went back to apologize to you and saw you had left, and he wanted to know where you had gone off to," Ginny explained quickly before Hermione could run up to the boy's dormitory and beat Ron to a pulp, "But then, when he saw who you were with, he pulled Harry over to show him and that's when I heard him make a comment about how erm... _close_your dot was to Malfoy's. He was trying to decide whether to go up to the tower and toss Malfoy off of it, or to just wait for you to come back so he could yell at you."

Hermione couldn't believe Ron. Was she not allowed to be satisfied with her life for once? Did he want her to be miserable forever? Hermione had told him everything about Draco. Didn't he realize there was a possibility of them getting together?

"I took the map from Ron and told him off. I promised to make sure you came back though, because he wouldn't go to bed until I did and he was almost certain Malfoy was going to kidnap you and torture you," Ginny finished, sympathizing with Hermione.

"He can't trust me, can he?" she asked, releasing a groan of frustration. The question was rhetorical, but Ginny responded anyway.

"He trusts you and your judgment. It's Malfoy that he's unsure of. We're all unsure about him, Hermione," Ginny confessed, lowering her eyes shamefully, "We just don't want anything to happen to you."

"Thanks for the concern, but Draco isn't going to hurt me," Hermione said with a cold edge to her voice, "Besides, didn't I catch _Ron_snogging another girl while we were together?" she added to point out Ron's hypocrisy.

"And that's why I told Ron not to give you a hard time when he sees you next," Ginny tried to calm Hermione's rage.

"Good, I'm exhausted and I'm going to sleep. You, Ron, and Harry are all going to mind your own business when it comes to me and Draco," Hermione said and stormed off to her quiet bed.

* * *

><p>Morning came faster than she wanted it to, waking her up with just enough time to run to her first class with only seconds to spare. She took a seat next to Harry and Ron but avoided talking to them by focusing on her work. Unlike other girls, such as Pansy or Lavender, Hermione didn't struggle to pay attention and didn't day dream while in class, which was very useful, seeing as once they were dismissed, her thoughts jumped to Draco and when she would next see him.<p>

The moment came after Hermione's second class, right before the break for lunch. She had been the last student to leave Charms, not bothering to go with Ron or Harry, and was greeted with the pleasant surprise of Draco waiting right outside the door.

"Hello," Hermione smiled, feeling her heartbeat increase slightly.

"Have a good morning?" Draco asked, following her to the Great Hall to eat.

"Not particularly."

"Why not? Weasley didn't bother you, did he? Or does he not know yet?" The corners of his mouth dropped in concern.

"He knows but he hasn't said anything yet. He was spying on us last night using Harry's map," Hermione complained and looked up to meet Draco's confused gaze.

"Map?"

"It's enchanted to show where everyone in Hogwarts is by using labeled dots," she elaborated briefly, "He saw our little dots together and that's why I'm sure he knows something's going on between us."

He smirked, finding the thought ridiculous, "I hope our dots gave him a good show. I wouldn't want to disappoint him."

"Ginny took the map from him so I doubt he saw the whole thing. It was a pretty lengthy ordeal," Hermione laughed and watched a curious look spread across Draco's face. "What?"

"Are you okay with this being out in the open? I don't want you getting upset with all the weird looks we'll no doubt receive." Draco stopped walking and leaned against a stone column.

"It doesn't matter to me what other people think. Are you okay with it, though?" Hermione said, already prepared to deal with the biggest rejecters of their relationship, Harry and Ron.

"Besides that bit with Pansy that we won't talk about anymore," he started, a brief flicker of regret in his eyes, "I've been avoiding Slytherins all year. I'm already dead to them so why should this matter?" He felt Hermione playing with his fingers as they chatted. She moved closer and Draco stopped her fingers to place her hands around the back of his neck.

"So, we don't have to hide this?" Hermione tilted her head up to kiss his lips.

"No, we don't." Draco felt her smile against his own as he kissed her hard for a moment.

"Are you hungry?" Hermione asked when the kiss had ended.

"For lunch? No. For your lips? Quite hungry," Draco joked and took a step forward from his position against the column, bringing his body closer to Hermione's.

"We have some time before next class, I thought we could talk or something," she suggested.

Draco took her hand and brought her to the side of the corridor, both of them taking a seat on the stone floor.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked, turning his head to face her. They were sitting innocently, their legs outstretched into the corridor and their backs against the wall. He continued holding her hand though.

"I don't know. Are you happy, now that you have me?" Hermione started, as if it was an interview.

Draco hesitated. He sure felt better than he did twenty-four hours ago. "I'm _happier,_" he began, formulating an explanation, "There are a lot of things in my life that aren't too great, like having parents that you hate, who hate you in return, like being on the list of people the Dark Lord wants dead, like having no future unless the darkest wizard of all time is stopped, or like only having a future if I run away and change everything about myself."

Hermione felt bad for asking now. She hated hearing about Draco's suffering when she had no idea how to help.

"But on the other hand," Draco pointed out, "There's one really, really good thing that makes it all worth living."

There was no trouble figuring out what he meant by that. Hermione felt her cheeks grow hot with embarrassment.

"If I had come back from the holiday vacation with Ron again, what would you have done?" It was a difficult question, but Hermione needed to know the answer.

Draco let out a long drag of breath and thought about it. "I was in awful shape when you found me last night and you weren't even with him. I'd like to think I wouldn't ever try to end it all, but looking back, there were some moments where it just got so hard to handle. Sometimes the pain wasn't worth the effort anymore. I had considered death as an option on more than one occasion, but then I'd see you and wonder if there was still a chance that we'd be together one day. I'm glad I didn't ever go through with it," he admitted.

Hermione had to remind herself that all his trouble wasn't because of her. He had been miserable before she had rejected him, and her saying no was simply what threw him over the edge.

"Aren't you afraid of death?" Her voice was now a whisper. She could feel her hand tensing in his relaxed grip.

"Aren't you a Gryffindor?" Draco smirked, trying to brighten their conversation.

"Just because I'm brave doesn't mean I'm fearless," she argued and shot him a strong glare.

"I guess you're right. But no, dying doesn't frighten me. It's living only to feel pain and suffering that I'm afraid of," Draco answered. "This is a pretty morbid talk we're having, isn't it?"

"Sorry," Hermione apologized quietly, thinking of the previous night. "Is that why you made me promise not to hurt you?"

Draco slowly nodded, turning his head to see her reaction. She looked back with a hint of determination in her eyes, knowing she would keep her word.

"And I promise not to ever hurt you either," Draco vowed and softly leaned down to kiss Hermione's forehead.

He trailed his lips down to brush against hers and then he got to his feet, dragging Hermione up with him.

"We'd better go to class," he said, although he didn't actually want to leave. He'd be counting the minutes and seconds until the last lesson ended and he could have Hermione in his presence again.

"If you can't find me, I'll probably be listening to Ron lecture me on how I shouldn't trust you." She rolled her eyes but Draco sensed that even she might not be entirely certain she could trust him.

"I know I was foul and awful to you in too many situations to count, but you noticed how much I had changed even before we started acting decently toward each other. I'm not acting as a spy or anything for the Dark Lord, trying to get with Potter's best friend, that's just the path my life has taken. If you're a Gryffindor and I'm a Slytherin, who cares?" He was sick of hearing the world protest their relationship. Every excuse was worn out as to why it wasn't right, all of them including the issue of trust.

"You don't have to prove to me that I can trust you." She could feel the lack of sleep making her edgy. "Unless _you_don't trust yourself."

The side comment bothered Draco. He had worked hard to be good around Hermione, but he had slipped up, made a mistake, and broke everything by being with Pansy. And yet, he had made the decision— on the tower and when he left Pansy— to be good and not do anything that ruthless ever again. If he could change so easily though, would he somehow manage to screw up again?

His silence made Hermione uncomfortable. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you're right. I trust myself with you, but other things... I don't know," Draco sighed and was half wondering if he was going to scare Hermione away if he kept talking.

"That's understandable," Hermione said and realized they had reached her next class, Arithmancy. "I'll find you after my last class. Our next meeting won't be as depressing." She laughed and felt Draco squeeze her hand to say goodbye.

"We just won't talk about me anymore. I'm sure your life has been a lot happier than mine." The corner of his mouth lifted into a smile and they parted ways.


	14. Changed

Chapter Fourteen

A quick flash of red hair coming through the portrait hole told Hermione that Ron was back from his last class and it was now time for them to talk. She gathered up her Gryffindor courage and stood to greet him.

"I don't want to or need to hear a lecture from you on how I should stay safe, but I wanted to talk to you anyway," Hermione said before Ron could start the speech she knew he had been planning.

He looked mildly frustrated. "You love him and he claims to love you. What is there to talk about?" His voice was empty of emotion as he walked off past Hermione to the bottom of the boys' staircase. He wasn't in the mood to get angry with her. Hermione stalked after him, tugging his arm to spin him back around.

"Why are you so upset with me?" Hermione asked, not letting go of Ron's arm so he couldn't run off again.

"I'm sorry, have you forgotten who you were out snogging last night?" Ron exclaimed, ripping his limb from her grasp.

"If this is because you still have feelings for me—"

"You don't get it!" Ron silenced her. The few people in the common room had their prying eyes and ears focused on the present argument. "You just don't get it."

"What, Ron? What don't I get?" Hermione stared in confusion.

Ron's hands went up to his hair and pretended to pull it out in irritation. "As much as I would like you to be more than a friend to me, that's not what's bothering me so much. If you don't have the same strong feelings for me as I have for you, and you go off with some other guy, I wouldn't be angry with you. I might be broken hearted, but I would get over it. But Draco Malfoy isn't _some other guy_, Hermione."

"Just because he's a Slytherin—" she said in protest, but Ron cut her off once more. Hermione let out an aggravated sigh.

"There's a war going on right now! How do we know who to trust? Malfoy has the Dark Mark right there on his arm. He found a way to bring Death Eaters into the heart of the castle last year. How can someone like that claim to have changed? I can't trust him and I don't want the people I love getting hurt because of a dirty, lying Slytherin," he concluded, worry in his eyes.

"What do you think we talk about when we're alone?" Hermione asked, trying to defend herself. "I mean, I already told him where the Order Headquarters are and about the prophecy. I might have mentioned the Horcrux hunt at one point but I don't think he remembers it." She rolled her eyes sarcastically. "I've never mentioned the Order or anything about our side of the battle around him. If you're right, then there's no information he could ever give the Death Eaters. We're all safe whether I'm with him or not."

Ron wasn't sure how to respond to this. As much as he hated Draco, he couldn't be mad at Hermione anymore.

"Well, err... that's good then, I guess," he muttered in embarrassment for making a scene in the common room.

"Sometimes I think you forget that I'm Head Girl, Ron. I'm not brainless," Hermione said, smirking. She must have picked up the habit from Draco.

"Sorry," he apologized sincerely, "I still hate Malfoy's slimy guts, though."

"I happen to like his slimy guts and I need to find them, so if you'll excuse me," Hermione said and went to leave but Ron caught her in his arms.

His grasp was tight as he twirled her around to whisper in close to her ear, "Don't let him ruin everything by being reckless. You never deserved what I did to you and I'm so sorry." His breath felt cool on Hermione's neck and they remained in that close position for a long moment before Hermione stepped away.

"Thank you." She knew he deeply regretted everything he had ever done to hurt her, but it was too late to go back. He smiled, knowing the same thing and watched her leave to meet Draco.

Hermione headed to the Great Hall, not sure of where to begin looking for Draco. She tore through the corridors and down the staircases, speed walking to find him. She hurried past the library entrance and nearly screamed when someone jumped from behind a suit of armor, taking hold of her. The motion-blurred stranger moved her so that she was pinned against the wall and they were face to face.

"Do you always try to frighten your girlfriends to death?" Hermione asked and felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest as she let out a breath of relief.

"No, I was just tired of waiting for you inside the library so I needed to find entertainment." He kissed her thoroughly, leaving his hands on the wall to the sides of her head. She cut his lips off from hers and Draco frowned. "You're not going to put a limit on our snogging, are you?"

"I only did that to Ron because he tried to take my clothes off," Hermione said and gently pushed him away. "I heard footsteps, though, and I thought we should stop putting on a show for everyone."

"Good idea," Draco agreed and casually sauntered into the library as a young Ravenclaw came into view. Hermione followed and joined him on the floor between two bookshelves in the back.

"I did all of the talking this morning. It's your turn," Draco said, trying to have a more optimistic conversation than their talk about death. "Tell me about yourself."

Hermione didn't know where to start so she jokingly went to the basics. "Hi, I'm Hermione Jean Granger and both of my parents are muggles and because of that I was picked on and teased for the past six years by a snotty Slytherin boy."

"Funny," Draco rolled his eyes and tapped his fingers impatiently on the cool floor. She quickly took hold of his hand to stop the tapping. "You have a lovely middle name, by the way, and your hands are ice cold."

"Thank you, snotty Slytherin," Hermione laughed. He grimaced at the repeated description of himself.

"Keep going," he urged, "I know your personality and what you've done here at Hogwarts, but I want to know the little things about you. What do you want to be after Hogwarts? What's your favorite book? What did you do when you first received your Hogwarts letter? And anything else you feel I should know."

"I know a lot of old wizarding families disagree with me, but I really hope to help the house elves one day. I started the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare during our fourth year. I want to build on that," Hermione said, answering the first question. Draco didn't interrupt to make any snide comments and she appreciated that.

"I've read so many books, I don't know if I could possibly have a favorite," she continued and received a shake of the head from Draco. "Do I have to pick one?" He nodded. "Hogwarts, A History, if I _must_choose."

Hermione forgot the next question so she paused and waited for Draco to prompt her. "Reaction to find out about Hogwarts," he restated and went quiet again.

"Oh, right. At first I thought it was some joke from the nasty girls that I went to muggle school with, but then it all made sense. It explained the strange things that were always happening around me and I truly believed it when my parents took me to Diagon Alley for the first time," Hermione said, realizing it wasn't the most exciting story. There was no fainting or huge celebrations or anything that would make for an interesting tale, but it was the truth. "Any other questions?"

"One more," he said, his mouth breaking into a grin, "How did you feel when you punched me in the face at the end of third year?"

Hermione felt her face redden in embarrassment. She had completely forgotten about that moment in their history. "Umm... It felt very good and I don't take it back because you deserved it," Hermione informed him. "How did it feel for you?"

"Amazing," he sarcastically answered. "I'm glad you did that, though. I really _did_deserve it." Draco took his free hand and brought it to his face as if he could still feel the bruise.

"I know it's a little late, but would you like me to kiss it and make it better?" Hermione asked with laughter, sounding like a mother talking to her hurt child.

Before Draco could respond, she turned and began placing a trail of kisses from his nose, to his cheek, then slowly down his jaw line. She paused, feeling Draco shift slightly, tracing his fingers in random patterns down her back. She proceeded to kiss down his neck to his collarbone and stopped, his hand lifting her chin so their eyes could meet.

"If my mother ever kissed my cuts or bruises like that, we'd have a serious issue," he laughed as Hermione twisted her body so she could lay on the floor, her head on Draco's legs.

"Then be glad I'm not your mother," she commented quietly, as if the kissing had tired her out.

Draco was pushing Hermione's bushy hair from where it had draped over her face when she reached for his left arm. She slowly pulled up the sleeve of his white button-down shirt to reveal the Dark Mark.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked abruptly, trying not to sound panicked or worried by the sudden action.

"I don't know," Hermione said in honesty. Maybe she thought that if he had "turned good," the horrid thing would disappear. She brushed her cool fingertips over it although there wasn't much to feel. The mark lay flat against his skin and if it were dark out, no one could ever feel it there.

"That feels nice," he murmured, her cold fingers easing the constant dull burning sensation in his arm.

"Does it always burn?" she asked, tracing the skull and snake carefully.

"It's not exactly burning right now, but it's warm enough to remind me it's there," Draco said, as if the subject bored him.

"Will it ever stop?"

"I suppose so, once the Dark Lord is gone," he guessed and rolled his sleeve back over it. Hermione was reminded of what Ron had said earlier and found it absolutely ridiculous. How could Draco be on Voldemort's side if he stood behind the idea of having Voldemort dead? She couldn't see any reason behind Ron's argument and hoped that she would never be proven wrong.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thanks for the reads and reviews! This story now has over 100 favorites, so I'd like to give another huge thank you to everyone who added this to their favorites! xxx_


	15. Breaking Promises

Chapter Fifteen

By the end of January, Hermione and Draco were spoken to by Professor Tonks. They were told that Draco was once again passing all of his classes and no longer needed tutoring. This was no surprise, however, seeing as Draco wasn't actually as brainless as he seemed. Once he stopped fooling around with Pansy, he was easily able to concentrate on his work and spend the rest of his time with Hermione.

The middle of February approached and before they knew it, it was Valentine's Day. Neither of them were fond of the mushy-gift-giving idea and Hogsmeade wasn't an option anymore because of the security rules. Once classes ended, though, Draco and Hermione found each other and left for the Astronomy Tower, a secluded and quite suitable place for the occasion.

The sun was beginning to set over Hogwarts, giving off a faint glow on the snowy grounds. Hermione shuddered in the open air but laughed when Draco jokingly vowed to heat the place up with her.

Most of the color and life had returned to his once corpse-like state and the deep circles under his eyes had faded. Ron had stopped making annoying faces whenever Hermione mentioned Draco, and Harry was his usual, too-preoccupied-with-the-Horcruxes self to really voice his own opinion on the relationship.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Draco grinned, his face inches from Hermione's and his hands gently pulling her towards his body.

"I know I've said this before, but I really love you," Hermione breathed, feeling as if speaking any louder might ruin the moment.

"I really love you, too," he whispered back and bent his head slightly so he could find her lips.

He started off gently teasing her, their mouths lingering together for mere seconds before separating, the desire building inside them like fire. Hermione groaned when he continued barely kissing her and decided to place her hands on the back of his neck to keep him from moving away again. He obeyed and kissed her hungrily, his tongue dancing roughly with hers.

Hermione's hands snaked down to his chest, pushing him slowly to the hard floor. Before his back could hit the floor, Draco rolled over so that he was now on top, leaning on his elbows to support his weight. The kiss deepened and Draco was startled when he felt Hermione's hands return to his chest and begin to unbutton of his shirt. He moved to her side so he could grab her hands and stop them.

"It's freezing out, I'm not going to let you take off my clothes," he said with a smirk, his breathing off from the lack of air. Hermione looked slightly embarrassed.

"I don't know what that was. I wasn't thinking," she confessed, blushing a little but also laughing, "I guess I subconsciously want you shirtless." Hermione looked at his nearly exposed chest and noticed a faint line running across his pale skin. "Is that a scar?" she asked, both curious and horror-struck.

Draco's smile faded as he opened the rest of the buttons to reveal several more lines from what once were deep gashes. Hermione let out a small gasp of surprise. "No thanks to your good friend Potter," he resentfully explained. After everything that Draco had been through in the past years, Hermione wondered whether he would ever be completely healed.

He started to close his shirt when the tower door burst open and a disheveled Harry appeared. He threw one bothered glance at Draco who looked awfully suspicious fixing the buttons on his top.

"Speak of the devil..." Draco said under his breath and helped Hermione to her feet.

"I know I shouldn't have looked for you on the map, but McGonagall is searching for you, Hermione," Harry said urgently, ignoring Draco's last comment, "And I thought it would be better if I found you than if she came up here and found you herself."

Hermione, who's face had turned red, understood Harry's logic and was just happy that Ron hadn't followed his lead to the tower. "What does she need me for? Is she in her office?" she asked, starting for the door.

"She might still be looking for you, but she said to tell you to wait there if we found you, and I have no idea what she wants," he said and moved out of the say so she could get going. Draco went with her.

"McGonagall asked for Hermione, not the two of you," Harry commented, just to bother Draco.

"I know how much you want to be alone with me up here," Draco began sarcastically, "But I think Hermione might be upset if she knew we were snogging behind her back."

Harry rolled his eyes at the immature remark and watched Draco run down the tower steps to catch up to Hermione.

"Do you know what this is about?" Draco asked, casually stepping into stride with her. She looked nervous but not overly worried as she shook her head to say no.

Once they had reached the Headmistress' office, Draco gave Hermione a reassuring hug before she ascended the gargoyle's staircase. McGonagall's voice told her she was present and upon knocking gently on the door, she was welcomed by the surprising sight of Remus Lupin. Neither of her former professors seemed too thrilled to see her.

"Miss Granger," McGonagall addressed her in a troubled voice and motioned for her to sit in one of the chairs by her desk.

Hermione swore she could hear her heart beating away in her chest as she sat in next to Lupin who was in the adjacent chair. He was looking rather tired and worn out from whatever work he had been doing recently for the Order. She hoped everything was all right.

"There was an unfortunate incident early this morning regarding your parents," the Headmistress began gravely. Hermione felt her heart drop and her throat close up with these few words, all of the color draining from her face.

"What?" she choked, her head spinning with disbelief.

"There was a Death Eater attack on your house and the Order arrived only just in time to save your parents," McGonagall said, lifting some of the fear off Hermione's conscious.

"They're a-alive?" Hermione stuttered, her voice shaking as much as her worried body. They were saved. Her parents were alive. "I-I need to s-see them," she insisted.

"That's the thing," Lupin explained placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "St. Mungo's isn't safe anymore with corrupt old wizarding families practically buying out the hospital with donations. Most of them are on You-Know-Who's side. If the workers find out the Order is associated with your parents, there could be trouble and you know we can't allow you to visit them without our protection."

Hermione was quiet for a long moment as her eyes welled up with tears. "But they're muggles, why are they in St. Mungo's?" she finally asked, confused.

Lupin sighed. "I was at your house and helped rescue them. No muggle doctor could have done enough to save them. Dark magic can only be healed by wizards and even the Order was incapable of helping," he said and Hermione could only imagine what the Death Eaters had done.

"But they're g-going to be okay?" She made sure she could see the truth in his eyes.

"They'll be almost completely healed within the month, there's nothing more to worry about," he assured her and although she believed him, she still felt sick. Was this all they needed to tell her? She rose to her feet, backing slowly from the chairs.

"Will you be all right going back to Gryffindor Tower?" McGonagall asked, walking her to the exit. Hermione nodded wearily though her legs were a little unstable.

Right before she reached the steps, Hermione turned around to face her past professors. "Lupin," she spoke, dreading the answer to the question in her head, "Do you know who the Death Eaters were? Did you see them?"

He looked as hesitant to answer as she had been to ask. "It was just the usual bunch," he said quickly, not completely answering.

"Just tell me the names," Hermione insisted.

"There were four of them: Crabbe, the Carrow twins," he paused, knowing the next would be the name Hermione was waiting for, "And Malfoy."

It felt like she had been slapped across the face, the pain hit so hard. Hermione couldn't bring herself to say anything and hurried out of the office, tears running from her brown eyes. At the bottom of the stairs Draco was leaning impatiently against the corridor wall. Hermione flew past him as if he wasn't even there.

"What happened?" he asked, chasing after her. She didn't even acknowledge him and her quick footsteps broke into a run to get away from him.

"Hermione, where are you going?" Draco called, keeping up. When Hermione refused to answer again, he grabbed her wrist as it swung back so she would have to stop running.

"Let go of me!" she shrieked at him, turning only to attempt to free herself. Draco held on, however. He needed some answers before he went crazy.

"What are you doing?" he asked loudly, as Hermione struggled with him. She tried prying his fingers open but it was useless. Instead, she used her free hand to shove him into the wall. Draco's head cracked hard against it and for a second he though he might black out. His grip loosened considerably and Hermione was able to run off again.

"You promised you wouldn't do this to me!" he shouted after her, not bothering to follow this time. She came to a quick halt and spun on the spot, her tearing eyes raging. "You promised you wouldn't hurt me," he said quietly.

"How can I keep my promise when you broke your own?" Hermione yelled back, furious.

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked, lifting his hand to feel the lump forming on the back of his head.

Hermione felt her pulse rising and her voice cracking through her tears. "My _mudblood_," she spat the word as if Draco needed it to understand better, "parents are in St. Mungo's and I can't even go see them and it's all because of _your_ father!" she cried, not caring if all of Hogwarts could hear their fight.

Draco looked possessed with fury as he restrained himself from knocking over the nearest suit of armor.

"I swear one day I'm going to _kill_ him. He's dead to me, all of them are!" he said viciously, more to himself than Hermione, whose eyes had widened in fear. He turned to approach her, taking deep breaths to calm himself. "I would never be involved with something like that and you know it. I'm not my father."

Hermione did know that and she felt foolish for thinking otherwise. She didn't step back when he brought his finger to her cheek to remove a tear, and soon she found herself back in his arms with his lips placing gentle kisses on the top of her head.

"Your parents will be fine," Draco reassured her in a much softer tone once he could feel Hermione relax.

"I just wish this war would end," she sighed into his chest.

"We all do, Hermione," he agreed quietly, "We're all ready for the end."


	16. Under Attack

Chapter Sixteen

Time had started moving faster than ever now that the seventh year was coming to a close. Soon it was the start of spring and although the beautiful weather was calling everyone outside, Hermione remained indoors to study for her upcoming N.E.W.T. exams. She was seated across from Draco in the library, each of them silently reviewing old notes.

Hermione felt her body jump as the quiet was broken by Harry's voice.

"I just saw Lupin and he had some news. Can we talk in private for a moment?" he said, trying to be as polite as possible to Draco.

Draco didn't say anything but gave a quick wave goodbye for their brief parting and returned to studying. Hermione followed Harry to an empty part of the nearby corridor and waited for him to start.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, hoping everything was fine.

"First piece of good news is that your parents are out of St. Mungo's and were brought to the Order Headquarters earlier today. They're going to stay there until we know it's safe again." Harry smiled, knowing the news was great for Hermione.

"There's more good news?" she asked, picking up on the way Harry had started. Things finally seemed to be going their way.

"The Order found the last Horcrux," he whispered the information to make sure it was secret, "The next time we meet, he'll be mortal and we'll be ready for him."

Hermione threw her arms around Harry in a tight hug. "This is wonderful Harry!" she exclaimed but there was a nervous edge to her voice. Surely a battle meant people would get hurt and who said only the Death Eaters were targets?

"We're all going to make it through. Don't think about that," he said, knowing what was going through her head. The possibility of death was more real to him than anyone else, however, especially with the prophecy. Either he or Voldemort had to die and Harry was prepared to survive.

"You're right," Hermione agreed bravely, "I shouldn't—"

"Uhh Hermione?" Draco's worried voice cut her off as he appeared at the end of the corridor, "Hi, sorry to interrupt but..." He lifted the sleeve of his shirt and Hermione couldn't believe how black the dark mark upon his arm was.

Harry approached to take a better look but drew back quickly, his hand shooting to his scar as he emitted an agonized scream. Before Hermione could help, he fell to his knees with his eyes shut tight, his heart pounding as much as his head.

"Harry!" Hermione looked from her friend to Draco and glared as if he had caused the lightning scar to burn.

"Don't look at me like that! How could I have done that to him?" Draco exclaimed, backing away to give Harry room.

His breathing had almost returned to normal and he slowly got to his feet. "I need to see McGonagall."

"What happened? What's going on?" Hermione asked urgently.

"Never mind, there's not enough time to find her. I'll just send a Patronus," Harry changed his mind, pulling his wand from his robes. "_Expecto Patronum_."

A silvery stag erupted from the tip of his wand and waited for the message he was to deliver. "Tell Professor McGonagall that Voldemort knows they're all destroyed. Tell her he's coming. We need to prepare to fight," he finished speaking and the stag disappeared instantly to report to the Order.

Hermione and Draco were at a loss for words. This was it. The war would soon be over. They had a fraction of a moment to think before McGonagall's voice boomed throughout the castle.

"Attention all students: please report to your common rooms immediately and await further instructions. All professors are to report to my office," she said, keeping her tone calm and in control.

Students soon flooded the hallways and Hermione could sense the underlying panic in the atmosphere. She took Draco's hand and began towing him in the path of the Gryffindor Tower.

He stopped her, feeling his heart thudding away. "You can't bring me with you, I'm a Slytherin," He looked almost sick, as if leaving Hermione might kill him.

"But—" she protested, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Don't worry. I'll get out and somehow I'll find you," he promised and kissed her lips in a rush of emotion. "I love you," Draco added and ran in the opposite direction before Hermione could hold him any longer.

Hermione's feet remained planted for a second, the sense of Draco's lips upon hers lingering enough to daze her. "I love you too," she replied to the empty air where Draco should have been. The feeling faded and Hermione came back to reality by joining her fellow Gryffindors on their hurried trek to the common room.

How would she find him again? What if he couldn't get out of the Slytherin dungeons? Her head whirled with the adrenalin of the moment and soon her feet had brought her into the heart of the noisy Gryffindor tower. Maybe it was better to have Draco safe in the castle. She wouldn't have to worry about him throughout the whole battle.

Hermione found Harry, Ron, and Ginny quite easily and was informed that they were given permission to leave and head down to meet the Order. Ron called Neville to join them and before they knew it, other members of Dumbledore's Army had put the pieces together, figured out what was going on, and agreed to fight as well. The more people they had, the better off they were.

They reached the office and the Order of the Phoenix was already waiting for them at the foot of the staircase.

"Here's the plan," Kingsley Shacklebolt started quickly, realizing there wasn't much time left, "We're going to try to keep the battle on the grounds because there's no possible way of getting all of the students out of the castle in time. Everyone should be safe in their common rooms, protected by the passwords."

"We're going to head down now and do our best to keep the Death Eaters out of the way and under control," Lupin took over, giving the rest of the instructions, "You-Know-Who will probably be there but he'll keep hidden, out of sight and away from the action until he's ready for Harry. He has always given the command to leave Harry for himself, so Harry has decided to join the fight, figuring he'll be safe either way."

"We're not sure exactly when they'll be here, but we have to go now before they get in the castle," Kingsley finished and started leading the mob of people downstairs. There were more people than Hermione had expected, having never seen the entire Order together at once.

"Ginny?" Harry's distinct voice pulled the redhead back from the quickly moving group.

Hermione glanced over her shoulder to see what was the matter just in time to see Harry plant his lips firmly upon Ginny's and to see her eyes widen in shock but begin to close as the kiss intensified. Painfully, Hermione was reminded of Draco and the uncertainty of when they would see each other again.

"Knock it off you two!" Ron called back, realizing they were missing, "Save that for later! Maybe the sight will be too much for You-Know-Who to handle and he'll just explode from all of the love."

Ginny backed away looking embarrassed but happier than she had been for the past year. Harry seemed like he had been dying to do that every moment since they had first split up. Now that the battle was nearly over, he knew it might be his last chance to let Ginny know how he really felt.

The group of witches and wizards gathered in the entrance hall, prepared to run out and defend the castle doors at the first sight of a Death Eater. The air was filled with anticipation and anxiety as the seconds ticked by and Hermione still hadn't met up with Draco again.

The afternoon sun was lowering over the grounds, dousing them in a red-orange light, when a sound like the crack of thunder echoed throughout the entrance.

"Are they here?" Tonks asked Remus who had situated himself at the door.

"They just blasted off some stones of the castle to let us know that they have indeed arrived," he explained and motioned for some of the more prominent members of the Order to join him at the front.

"We're opening the doors. Everyone, wands out!" Kingsley called for the Order to hear. "Ready in three... two... one. GO!" he shouted and the large oak doors flew open.

A line of Death Eaters were visible on the edge of the forest and the first spell was soon thrown as a streak of red light flashed past someone's head.

"_Protego!_" a wizard from the good side shouted and with those few spells, the final battle had begun.

Both groups scattered, running in all directions while aiming spells over shoulders. Hermione stuck with Ron, each of them covering the other's back and knocking out Death Eaters from a distance. Two Death Eaters had moved in on them, chasing them from the main pack. Hermione stunned one of them and she took Ron's arm, running behind a section of bushes. Ron dove just in time to avoid a curse and landed roughly on his shoulder next to Hermione.

"_Stupefy!_" he yelled back at the Death Eater who was hit in the side as he tried to avoid it as well.

Hermione kept an eye on the battle to make sure no one was sneaking up on them as Ron caught his breath and made sure his shoulder was fine.

A branch cracked nearby, causing both of them to jump. Ron had his wand ready to stun when Hermione saw who it was. She pushed Ron's hand down as a wave of relief spilled over her.

"What are you—?" Ron snapped, raising his wand back up.

"Stop, it's Draco!" she hissed. Draco realized it was them, as well, and ducked behind the patch of bushes.

"I'm so glad you're alright!" he breathed, also relieved.

Hermione pulled his head to hers and kissed him fast and hard on the mouth.

"If there wasn't a battle going on," Draco murmured in her ear so Ron couldn't hear, "I'd have you right here, right now."

"And Ron," Hermione added quickly, glancing up to Ron who was acting as a look-out.

"And Ron?" Draco repeated, confused.

"If there wasn't a battle going on and if Ron weren't here..." she corrected.

"Watch out!" Ron suddenly shouted, causing them to abruptly split and scramble to get to their feet. It was only just in time, the bushes bursting into flames after being hit by a Death Eater's spell.

Hermione followed Ron who was running away on the edge of the forest, Draco in back to make sure Hermione didn't fall behind. They were getting farther and farther from the fight but the one Death Eater was still pursuing them. Every spell they threw back was blocked instantly and they were only just dodging the spells aimed at them.

They had just rounded the side of the castle when Hermione caught her toe on a tree root and tumbled to the ground. Draco skidded to a halt and quickly pulled her to her feet to keep moving. Ron had turned to go back for them, trying to stun the Death Eater as he went.

"I've got her, Weasley! Just keep running!" Draco shouted, glancing over his shoulder to see where their follower was.

It was then that the Death Eater lowered his hood and removed his mask, all the while trying to curse them. Draco instantly recognized the Death Eater as his father and felt his blood start to boil. He stopped running and faced Lucius head on.

"What are you doing?" Hermione shouted aiming a disarming spell at Lucius who barely dodged it. A broad grin lined with evil appeared on his face as he realized the connection between his son and Hermione.

"_Stupefy! Crucio!_" he yelled, sending the first at Ron and before Hermione could move, the second spell hit her bringing unimaginable suffering.

Instant pain flooded her body and she fell to the ground, writhing in blinding agony. There was no way of stopping it, and it seemed to last forever. She faintly heard Draco send a curse at his father before the torture ceased and she came back to full control of her body. Lucius had needed to protect himself, cutting his concentration away from her.

She could see the hatred etched in the lines of Draco's face as he rattled off every spell he could think of, hoping one of them would get through his father's defense. Hermione got to her feet and ran over to Ron to make sure he was just stunned.

"_Ennervate_," she quickly said, bringing him back to full consciousness.

Lucius turned his wand back to Hermione, ready to take her out again.

"Get away from her!" Draco screamed, his voice frantic as he ran to stand between them.

In what seemed like only a split second while Draco was distracted by trying to protect Hermione, Ron sent a stunning spell directly at Lucius, while Lucius in turn took the moment to shoot a spell at his own son. As the Death Eater was hit and dropped, completely knocked out, Draco received the full force of whatever spell had been used on him.

Striking him squarely in the chest, he was thrown into the air, smashing into one of the windows of Hogwarts. The glass shattered everywhere and with a sickening crack, he rebounded off the wrought iron window bars and landed in a motionless heap on the rocks at the base of the castle.


	17. Time Stands Still

Chapter Seventeen

Hermione felt the air get sucked from her lungs as she watched Draco hit the ground with a deep thud. Forcing her legs to work, she sprinted to him, afraid to see the damage that had been done. Ron followed close behind.

"Draco!" she cried, trying to get a response as she ran. There was no answer, though.

As she approached, she could see the unnatural position he was laying in. He was on his back, his head against a dark rock with one leg bent under his body, his other three limbs unmoving. Hermione kneeled down at his side and frantically felt his wrist for a pulse. The coolness of her fingers on his skin caused Draco to slowly open his eyes.

"Hermione," he said weakly, his breathing ragged as he tried to look up at her.

She was too shocked to say anything at first. She just continued to hold his hand while her eyes poured tears down her cheeks. Trying to get a deeper breath, Draco let out a terrible noise that clearly meant he was in a lot of pain.

"I'm here... I'm here," Hermione managed to choke out, "We'll get you to St. Mungo's and everything will be all right," she promised.

"I'll send for some help," Ron agreed, starting quickly for the nearest entrance to the castle, "I think Madame Pom—"

"It's too late," Draco called, as loudly as he could manage, before Ron could waste his time.

There was a brief silence in which Ron came to a stop and Hermione just stared at Draco, her grip on his hand tightening. "You don't mean that," she whispered, taking a sharp, shuddering gasp of air.

"I love you," he said, struggling to bring his hand to her cheek to wipe the tears away. His eyes started to shut as if the effort to stay alert was exhausting him of his last remaining life.

"I love you too," Hermione told him and leaned down to hastily plant a kiss on his lips. "Stay with me," she begged, "_Please_stay with me."

"Don't be scared" Draco managed to say, the color draining quickly from his face as he spoke. His cool gray eyes were locked on hers, trying so hard to not look away. "You can't be scared," he ordered her, in a voice barely audible. All the while, Ron was silently keeping his distance in the background, trying to give them some privacy while also watching for Death Eaters.

Draco coughed, wincing horribly in the pain, and Hermione saw a trail of blood coming from the corner of his mouth. She hadn't noticed until now that the soil and rocks beneath Draco were soaked with his dark blood as well, the pools giving off a sickening reflection of the moonlight. The hand Hermione was holding was growing colder by the minute but she refused to let go, to give up. Draco's eyes flickered, rolling back in his head as he was started to loose consciousness.

"Don't go," Hermione pleaded with him, her voice cracking. She understood that it was useless though and heaved a great sob. "I love you," she repeated in a voice shaking with the pain she was in.

Draco's mouth twitched as if he were trying to reassure her again that everything would be fine and that he loved her as well, but no words ever escaped his lips as his barely open eyes shut for the final time. His hand had grown limp in Hermione's but she held on tightly, pressing his fingers against her lips as she allowed herself to cry uncontrollably.

Ron slowly came up to Hermione and placed a comforting hand on her back to let her know he was there. She remained as she was for a long time until she gently lowered Draco's lifeless hand to his side. She turned silently to Ron who helped her to her feet just as a distant explosion of cheers erupted over the grounds.

"I don't think those were Death Eaters," Ron commented. He lacked the laughter that usually followed one of his own jokes but he knew now wasn't the time. He knew there would come a day, though, when Hermione would need his humor again.

She wanted so badly to be happy and to be able to rejoice with everyone but she couldn't even bring herself to smile. Ron wasn't sure what to do, whether he should leave Hermione with Draco to find help in moving the body or whether he should remain with Hermione until someone found them. He figured it was best to ask Hermione what she wanted.

"Do you want—" Ron started but before he could finish, Hermione burst into hysterics again.

The sight of her standing helpless and alone was almost too much for Ron to handle. He took her in his arms and stroked the back of her hair in a comforting manner. Hermione buried her face in his chest, shutting her eyes and wishing for everything to have been only a nightmare.

"Ron! Hermione!" someone was calling them, bringing them back to the moment.

Ron looked over his shoulder to see Harry running their way. He was grinning but at the same time he looked entirely worn out.

"What are you guys doing here? I thought you'd be with everyone else," Harry blurted quickly before sensing that something was horribly wrong.

Hermione lifted her head slightly and saw Ron nod in the direction of Draco's body to wordlessly explain to Harry what had happened.

"Congratulations though, mate, you did it!" Ron proceeded to exclaim, trying to smile back at his friend.

"We're so proud of you," Hermione managed to get out in her hoarse voice. She slid out of Ron's grasp to give Harry a celebratory hug. It didn't feel like much of a celebration though.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered sincerely before letting Hermione go. She bravely swallowed back her tears.

The two boys decided that it would be best to have some of the older wizards, ones more experienced with death, handle Draco's body. Hermione agreed, finally ready to leave. Once the body was in safe hands, the trio made the trek back to the large oak doors to join everyone else in the Great Hall.

The air inside was filled with a mixture of both the same excitement and mourning that Hermione was feeling. She avoided looking around, not wanting to see other bodies that had been brought in and not wanting to learn any more troubling news. But finding out the damages was unavoidable. She felt her heart drop as she spotted the majority of the Weasley family huddled together with sullen expressions on their faces. Ron noticed as well and quickly ran to find out what had happened.

Neither Harry nor Hermione could hear what Ginny was telling her brother, but relief flooded their hearts when Ron came back to tell them everyone was fine; Mr. Weasley and Charlie had just ended up in St. Mungo's with severe but healable injuries.

"Do you know who else—?" Harry asked, his voice fading suddenly after glancing at Hermione and trying to spare her from more pain.

"Mum said there weren't a lot," Ron said, his voice cautious as he recounted the death toll. He let out a long breath before naming those who had been killed. "A few were people we didn't know, and then Lupin, Snape, even Colin Creevey who came with the D.A. I'm not sure about the other side though, most of them were taken into Ministry hands."

As horrible as it was to learn that Remus Lupin had been killed, Harry thought it was fitting for the remaining loyal Marauder to be able to join his friends, Sirius and James, once more.

The Great Hall was lit by dim candlelight, for it was still the middle of the night, but through the faint glow from the tiny flames, Hermione could see McGonagall on the opposite side of the four long tables give a graceful wave of her wand. What appeared to be flowing white sheets soared from the tip of her wand and fell gently behind the table along the far side of the hall. It felt as though iron bands were constricting around Hermione's chest as she realized that McGonagall must be covering the bodies.

She couldn't handle being with people at the moment. Half of them were either celebrating, which seemed horribly unfair, and the other half were grief-stricken as well, only further reminding Hermione of the aching feeling in her heart. Without telling Harry or Ron where she was going, she walked swiftly out of the Great Hall, increasing her pace when she spotted Kingsley Shacklebolt trying to comfort Tonks over Lupin's death.

Once she was through the door and out of everyone's sight, she broke into a run through the deserted corridors. Without any light but the dim traces of moonlight streaming through the windows, she had soon lost track of where she had ended up inside the castle. It wasn't until she noticed the ghostly moonlight reflecting in an odd way upon the staircase at the end of the corridor, that she stopped running. Her breath coming in shallow and desperate gasps, Hermione slowly approached the shattered window that was creating the eerie effect.

She carefully picked up a thin shard of glass that had flown to the foot of the stairs and took a seat on the bottommost step. Trying furiously to blink back her tears, she finally gave in again with a series of hysterical cries.

Why hadn't she told Draco to just stay with the Slytherins? She should have known something bad was going to happen when he faced the Death Eaters again, this time from the opposing side. Then again, Draco had believed this would happen all along. Wasn't he always going on about how he wouldn't survive out of Hogwarts' protection? He knew he had a death-sentence placed on his head and although he hadn't brought it up recently, it must have been looming in the back of his mind. Hermione painfully remembered his last few words. _"Don't be afraid,"_he had said, and he was right. She couldn't let this destroy her. She was stronger than that, and he had known it.

She was absolutely exhausted. The piece of glass slipped from her fingers and hit the floor with soft, musical ringing, as she rested her head on the stair case banister. Without much effort to keep them open, she felt her eyes close as she drifted into a much-needed sleep.

* * *

><p>"Hermione?" a distant voice called, and she felt someone's hand gently shaking her shoulder. The voice called again, this time with much more concern, and in order to please whoever it was, Hermione slowly opened her eyes to face blinding sunlight streaming in through a nearby window.<p>

"Good, you're awake," Ron commented, removing his hand from her arm and taking a seat in a nearby chair at the side of her bed.

"Where am I?" Hermione asked, remembering that she had definitely not fallen asleep in a bed.

"Oh, well, Harry and I found you last night and we thought it was best to carry you to the Hospital Wing for the night in case you err... woke up and needed anything," he explained and she knew he was referring to her possibly unstable state of mind.

"Thanks," she said feebly and looked out onto the sunny grounds. "What time is it?"

Ron suddenly looked uncomfortable. He took a great pause before answering. "That's why I woke you. McGonagall is holding a sort of memorial ceremony for those who—" he tried not to look at her already red eyes as he cut himself off, "It starts in an hour and I thought you should have the chance to be there."

Hermione felt her stomach lurch again as her chest tightened in an unbearable manner. Now that he had brought it up, she realized Ron was wearing his black dress robes.

"You don't have to go if you aren't ready, but if you do, I'll be with you the whole time, I won't leave you alone," he promised, as any loyal friend would. Hermione tried to smile, but she imagined it looked nothing like one.

The memorial was held on the Hogwarts grounds, the same place Dumbledore's funeral had been held a year earlier, the same place the ones being honored had died not twelve hours earlier. All of the students and teachers had come to pay their respects, even if they had never known those who had been killed.

Hermione sat next to Ron, her entire body tensing when McGonagall read Draco's name off a list during her speech. She put on a brave face, however, and remained in her seat for the entire ceremony as if somehow, facing the pain head on would help her internal wounds heal faster. She wasn't crying anymore, but whether that meant she was getting better or worse, she couldn't tell. Maybe she had just run out of tears to cry or maybe she had numbed herself of all emotion for the time being.

"Let us always remember those who have died for standing up for what is right in this world, and by doing so," McGonagall spoke, her voice strong despite the difficult task, "They have taught us that love is the most powerful source of magic. We must also remember that there is nothing to fear from death and the uncertainty of life and these brave souls will certainly not be forgotten."

With those final words, she stepped away from the front of the audience and the ceremony quietly ended.

Hermione realized as she took Ron's arm to be led back into the castle, that the Headmistress was right, that Draco was right. Death was certainly not the end and she knew this because Draco would always live on, as if time was standing still, in her heart, her mind, her soul.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for such a depressing chapter. I had it planned from the start though, and it was a tough decision but I stuck with it. This is the last chapter to the main story and I'll have the epilogue posted in a week! Thanks again for reading, reviewing, and favoriting! xxx_


	18. Epilogue

Epilogue

It had been five years since the end of the war, five long and difficult years. With a recently acquired job in the Ministry, working to protect the rights of magical creatures, Hermione had found a small apartment in Hogsmeade village and was finally growing accustomed to her busy schedule. She was thankful, though, for her hectic routine. It gave her very little time to sit alone and let her mind wander back to memories that only ripped her wounded heart back open and for that reason, she had invited Harry, Ron, and Ginny to dinner at her place on her first evening off.

She had just set a small fire under a pot with a flick of her wand, when there was a knock on the door. Setting her wand back in her pocket, she opened the door to greet Harry and Ginny.

"Something in there smells really good!" Harry said before Hermione could greet him properly and stepped through into a sitting room.

"How do you put up with him everyday?" Hermione asked Ginny, rolling her eyes. She and Harry had gotten married only a few months ago with a beautiful wedding at the Burrow.

"I grew up with six brothers, I'm used to it by now," she replied and followed Hermione inside. "Is Ron coming?"

"Yes, he should be here soon. Why do you always ask that?" Hermione wondered aloud. Ginny seemed to ask that question every time they got together.

"It's not that you seem unhappy when he's _not_ here," Harry started to explain, "but you _do _seem happier when he's around. You smile more and we like to see you happy."

"Oh," was all Hermione said. It must have been a subconscious change, what they were talking about, because she hadn't realized it before.

There was another knock a short while later, and indeed when Hermione gave Ron a welcoming hug, a huge grin had plastered itself onto her face. It was as if the atmosphere of the room had changed at once, lightening enough to notice the subtle difference Ron's presence had made.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, taking his coat off and placing it neatly in a closet by the door. He was with Hermione so often he knew where everything was. Recently, however, he had been quite busy with training for his upcoming Quidditch match as keeper for the Chudley Cannons and they had spent less time together.

"It's okay, you're just in time for dinner!" Hermione said, making her way to the kitchen. Ron let out a quiet laugh and with Harry and Ginny, joined Hermione at the table for the meal she had prepared.

The conversation was light, focusing on what everyone had been doing lately and whether or not the Cannons were ready for the big match only two days away. When the meal had ended and dessert was devoured and gone, Hermione took her wand out to start cleaning up.

"I'll help you," Ron insisted, watching Ginny and Harry sit down across from a large blazing fireplace in the next room.

"You don't have to," Hermione said, but Ron retrieved his wand, as well, and started rinsing the crumbs off of plates and silverware with some quick spells.

Now that they were alone and out of earshot of their nosy friends, Ron turned quietly to Hermione, a concerned look on his face.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around lately," he apologized again, "Have you err... been all right?"

Hermione felt the band around her chest tighten, knowing what he was implying. She continued drying the dishes. "It's been getting better with all the work I've had lately, but you know there are always going to be some rough days. They don't hit me as hard as they used to, though."

She tried not to remember her most recent episode, which had occurred after she found the missing hairpin Draco had given her. It had gone missing a month prior and even though it was a relief to find it, it still reminded her of him. She had ended up on the floor of her dark, unlit bedroom, fighting back tears she refused to cry.

"Hermione?" Harry's voice brought her thoughts back to the kitchen she was currently standing in. He was poking his head in the doorway, looking anxious. "I think we're going to go. Ginny thinks she's coming down with something."

"I hope she feels better and I'm glad you two made it tonight!" Hermione said, seeing Ginny hurrying out of the apartment looking quite ill. She hoped it wasn't her food that had done it.

"Thanks for having us!" Harry exclaimed urgently chasing after his wife. The door clicked shut behind him and now Hermione was alone with Ron.

"I'll bet you anything she's pregnant," Ron said, sounding both annoyed and amused. He leaned against the counter and Hermione noticed he seemed anxious about something.

"I wouldn't be surprised," added Hermione, knowing Ron hated the thought of his sister sleeping with anyone, even if it _was_ Harry and they _were_ married.

She hoisted herself to sit on top of her counter and rested her head sleepily on the cabinet behind her. There was a long silence in which her eyes started to droop from the long day she had had.

"Is it all right if I just ramble on to you about some things?" Ron asked, breaking the calm quiet that had surrounded them. Hermione gave him a skeptical look but nodded for him to begin whatever he was prepared to rant about. She allowed her eyes to shut but made sure she was listening properly.

"Lately, I've been thinking," he started, glancing briefly to his side at Hermione, "I've been thinking a lot about all of the time I've spent with you over these past five years. I've seen your best days and I've definitely seen your worst days and I've been with you through all of them."

Unsure of where Ron was headed with his speech, Hermione felt herself start to close up, trying to hold all her emotions together inside herself.

"I think I've known for a long time that I've felt something stronger than friendship between us. Even when you were with..." he hesitated, trying not to break Hermione down, "when you were with _him_, and even when I was stupid and went off with Lavender, you were always the one who held my heart."

By now, Hermione had opened her eyes, feeling it would be the polite thing to do. After all, Ron seemed to be laying everything on the line for her to know and understand.

"I've known you since our first year at Hogwarts and there's no one I've ever wanted to be with more than you," he stood up straight, turning to look her in the eye. Hermione felt her heart constricting as it raced away in her chest. She wasn't ready for this. "I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you because I love you, and even if you need more time for things to heal, I'll be perfectly fine waiting." With nervous and shaking hands, he pulled something from his pocket and knelt with one knee on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Hermione breathed, her head whirling and making her dizzy. She hopped off the counter, possibly thinking it would cause Ron to get up and stop being ridiculous, but he stayed where he was, gazing deeply into her eyes.

"Hermione," he spoke her name as if it were the most beautiful name in the world, not breaking his composure, "I don't care if I'm not your first choice, if this wasn't how you wanted it to be, if it wasn't supposed to be me down on one knee, here in front of you, but here I am, and I'm asking you if you would please marry me." He opened the tiny box in his hand, showing the beautiful ring inside to Hermione, who remained speechless and frozen on the spot.

Thoughts rushed through her head as painful images of Draco surfaced. She knew what he would have wanted, though, and that was for her to be happy, and that's how she felt with Ron. She never would know the life she could have had with Draco or if that life would have even existed. She felt her eyes well up with tears and took a heavy gasp of air before responding.

"Yes, Ron, I'll marry you," She was smiling and crying; these were tears of happiness, though, ones she had been unable to cry for the longest time.

Ron, smiling as well, gently slid the ring onto her finger, kissing her hand softly as he went. He got to his feet and snaked Hermione's arms around his neck, holding her chin up so their faces were only inches apart. He knew she was afraid, for no one had been this close, held her like this, kissed her lips, since Draco had the night he was killed.

Slowly, Hermione pressed her body against his and felt his lips lightly brush against hers. She smiled into the kiss, the happiest she'd been in years.

_The End_

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><p><em>AN: Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story until the end! I really hope you enjoyed it, though I know a lot of you are angry about the previous chapter. I apologize for upsetting people, but that's life. Thank you for all your reviews and for adding this to your favorites!_


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